feeling violent - Mental Health Message Board

mycutepup · 08-07-2007, 07:15 PM

I'm a newbie here and I hope some one will tell me if they have ever experienced what I'm going thru.

I'm a hard working person, out going with no addiction problem. Years ago when I was in college while sitting in my literature class I felt like slapping my professor's face even though I liked the professor and did not have any anger whatsoever. I also have felt like spitting on a different professor's face, again I liked the professor. That was years ago, when I told my cousin of my disturbed feelings, she said I was bored of the classes.

A week ago I had lunch with my very good friend that I adore very much. We were having a very interesting conversation when I suddenly felt like slapping her face, and I was so afraid that I would lose control of my hand that I would just let it fly across the table. Today I wanted to scream out loud, but I don't know about what. I body aches and I feel that my eyesight is somewhat blurry. Last night I felt the pain on my upper back something like gastric pain. I also have pain in my chest.

I feel so ashamed for wanting to slap my friend. Please help and tell me if you have ever had this kind of experince. I don't want to see a shrink as I don't like taking meds.

Is this a sign of depression or am I just insane?

Sannah · 08-08-2007, 08:19 AM

Hi Pup, do you think you are angry most of the time?

jendg28 · 08-08-2007, 11:46 AM

I have felt like I wanted to slap my boss before(former boss). This is different because he was abusive toward his children and I felt anger towards him. Do you see a therapist? I wouldn't think that was a symptom of depression, but I could be wrong. How long has this been going on? Has something else happened to make you feel angry and are you just directing it to others? This could be a possibility. I would see a therapist if it continues to bother you.

mycutepup · 08-08-2007, 05:18 PM

Thanks for replying to my post. I have selfdiagnosed last night after I searched the web. My problem is called obsessive compulsive disorder, it's not depression but it can be worsen by stress. No, I'm a very happy person, out going, love to socialise and very loving. No, I'm not an angry person and there's really not much to get mad at in my life. To be more specific my problem is call ocd with intrusive thoughts. I don't have it all the time only sometime but it is definitely time consuming and not fun to carry that kind of a thought in your head and fearing you might lose control. It's very similar to post partum depression where new moms are not depressed but just disturbing thought and wanting to hurt the child. I'm so relieved to know that I am not the only one who goes thru this also that I'm not crazy especially when I'm aware its not permamnent. I have felt like this sometimes when I was 12 year old I'm now in my 30s. I want to see a counsellor but it will take time to find a good match.
Thanks so much.

Sannah · 08-09-2007, 08:54 AM

Pup, good work. Taking your mental health into your own hands is an excellent first step. OCD is an anxiety disorder. Do you consider yourself anxious?