I talk to myself in my head. Sometimes I get obsessed about words or phrases(OCD). I can't stop obsessing that I want to turn into someone. Like a movie star or a celebrity. Say for example, George Clooney, I would say in my head "I want to be this guy" or "I want to be like George Clooney." So that's my obsession. And now the next part which I don't know what it is. Right when I say "I want to be" something pops into my head saying a negative person I wouldn't want to be like right before I say the words "George Clooney." I can't tell where it's coming from!! I don't hear it through my ears. It feels like my thoughts are talking to me. It's like a thought that I can hear or feel with words.
I believe that these words and phrases that I'm obsessed about CAN change me or somebody. So when I hear or feel a negative word come out. I say to myself "NOT like him" and then start repeating "Like George Clooney" "Like George Clooney" "Like George Clooney" and so on. It just doesn't satisfy my stomach unless I do it. And if I don't I think something bad is going to happen to me or someone else.
Please someone help me. I want these words that pop up in my head or thoughts, that I can't tell where they're coming from, to go away. Besides getting my brain back before I got sick, I won't ask for nothing ever again!! Please help
I have Bipolar Disorder and I was misdiagnosed with OCD first because I have delusions. When manic, I sometimes think someone is going to hurt me. I have gone so far as to call the police before. I would check the windows and doors all night because I was so freaked out about someone breaking in. That "checking" is what got me diagnosed with OCD. My doctor later told me that if you really, truely believe this obsession is going to happen then it is a delusion and that is not a characteristic of OCD. If you know that it won't happen, but you just can't get it out of your head then it could possibly be OCD. I would definitely recommend making an appointment with a Psychiatrist as soon as you can. It can really make a huge difference in your quality of life. Good luck.
I have Bipolar Disorder and I was misdiagnosed with OCD first because I have delusions. When manic, I sometimes think someone is going to hurt me. I have gone so far as to call the police before. I would check the windows and doors all night because I was so freaked out about someone breaking in. That "checking" is what got me diagnosed with OCD. My doctor later told me that if you really, truely believe this obsession is going to happen then it is a delusion and that is not a characteristic of OCD. If you know that it won't happen, but you just can't get it out of your head then it could possibly be OCD. I would definitely recommend making an appointment with a Psychiatrist as soon as you can. It can really make a huge difference in your quality of life. Good luck.
I'm like that too. With being freaked out that someone might break into my house. I'm always checking if the doors and windows are locked. I don't feel safe inside my home I feel like someone is going to break in. I almost called the cops once when I heard a noise outside my window but it was just a cat.
Sorry I forgot to write in my first post that I am diagnosed with Schizophrenia and OCD. I'm taking Geodon, Abilify, Lexapro.
I think I am delusional though but my doctor hasn't told me that yet. I do believe that these things can truly happen. Along with that, it's OCD also because I can't get it out of my head. I was just wondering if those words that feel like my thoughts are talking to me was my schizophrenia or something else(a new disorder that I haven't been diagnosed with).
Also, what bothers me is that when I go to sit down in a chair. In mid air a hear or feel the voice inside my head. It says a negative person that I wouldn't like to be like and I think that it is going to change me into that so when I sit down I stand back up again and do it again until I make myself say a positive person. That's when I feel comfortable to sit down again.
A lot of the same drugs that treat BP are used to treat Schizophrenia. I take Lithium, Abilify, Celexa, Seroquel, and Tegretol. I used to take Geodon as well. The thing that makes BP different from Schizophrenia is the manic phase. Although you can experience delusions and hallucinations while manic. Do you experience "high's"? Do you sometimes talk really fast, call people in the middle of the night, or are extrememly sexual? That is bipolar.
A lot of the same drugs that treat BP are used to treat Schizophrenia. I take Lithium, Abilify, Celexa, Seroquel, and Tegretol. I used to take Geodon as well. The thing that makes BP different from Schizophrenia is the manic phase. Although you can experience delusions and hallucinations while manic. Do you experience "high's"? Do you sometimes talk really fast, call people in the middle of the night, or are extrememly sexual? That is bipolar.
What do you mean by "high's"? I don't call people in the middle of the night, or talk really fast. But I am extremely sexual .
Perfectly fits OCD. OCD people for instance may repeat a number in their head over and over - or else they truly believe something bad will happen to a loved one - and things like that. They obssess - just like you said - about one thing for a while - then they move to something different. They feel a sense of relief from doing the action associated with the obssesion. Like repeating that number over and over . . .makes them feel they've escaped the "bad thing that will happen."
People with scitzophernia do not know they have it. They don't even think "Hey I may have scitzophernia. These things I am seeing/hearing are just delusions." The fact the you recognize these thoughts as obssesive behaviours means that you most likely do not have scitzophernia. People with scitzophernia - never think what they imagine sounds strange in the least.
The best way to break the OCD cycle is to fight the urge to obssess. Hope this helps. God bless!
Perfectly fits OCD. OCD people for instance may repeat a number in their head over and over - or else they truly believe something bad will happen to a loved one - and things like that. They obssess - just like you said - about one thing for a while - then they move to something different. They feel a sense of relief from doing the action associated with the obssesion. Like repeating that number over and over . . .makes them feel they've escaped the "bad thing that will happen."
That's true I do believe something will happen to a loved one. Sometimes it changes. It used to be my Mom, then I got obsessed about something happening to my Dad, then brother, sister, and now me. What you said all makes sense to me.
But where is that thought/voice coming from? I can hear/feel my brain saying words to me. They say the full word, not phrases, just words.
I have never heard of a person having both OCD and schizophrenia, but I suppose it is possible. If you truly believe that your obsessions are real (believe it all of the time- not just when you are having them and feel the need to do a compulsion), then you may have a rare type of OCD where the individual does have slight psychotic features because they can't see that the obsessions are illogical. If you cannot see the illogical nature of your obsessions at any time, you may have obsessions that turn into delusions. This only happens in about 5% of OCD-ers.
For example, if you have an obsession that aliens are going to come and abduct you, a typical OCD-er would say to themself, "What if aliens came and abducted me? I know that could never happen. But what if it does? I should do [insert compulsion here] to prevent that from happening, even though I know that it doesn't make any sense whatsoever..." Somebody with the psychotic OCD wouldn't know that the alien abduction thing couldn't happen. They would say something more along the lines of the following: "What if aliens came and abducted me? They're after me! I know it! I should do [insert compulsion here] to prevent that from happening, because if I don't, it is going to happen!" The difference between straight delusions and the delusional thinking of the rare type of psychotic OCD is that, with "classic" delusions, the compulsion isn't present. One may "check" out of windows if they have a paranoid delusion that somebody is after them, but they do this simply to see if the imaginary person is there, not to prevent the imaginary person from capturing them. An OCD compulsion is done to directly prevent the obsession from coming true.
If you do indeed have OCD, you sound like you have the pure obsessional type. Many pure obsessionals who aren't schizophrenic and who don't have the rare psychotic OCD believe they're schizophrenic or "going crazy" because they suddenly get bizarre thoughts and images in their mind that are revolting, out of their control, and "bad." They may think they're "possessed" or "hearing voices," when in reality, they're not. I have pure obsessional OCD, and before I knew what OCD was, I, too, thought I was schizophrenic. It's a pretty common reaction with pure "Os." But the fact that you do believe that your obsessions are real signals that it isn't classic pure "O" OCD.
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
__________________
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
-Hans Asperger
They may think they're "possessed" or "hearing voices,"
Yep I do think I am possessed. Like the girl from the movie exorcism. I believe it is the devil that is the second voice inside me. No matter how long and how much psychotic meds I've been on, I can't get that voice out of my head ever since I had my first "schizophrenic" attack. I can't type because I'm bothered by that voice when I'm typing. When I hear it, I back space some words or letters because I feel this is what I need to do in order not to let something happen. The voice is stuck in my head and I don't know what to do.
I've sometimes felt like running away from home because I think I am possessed and nobody wants to understand me no matter what I tell the doctors. I imagined it all out one time how it would be like. But I didn't because I thought about the consequences if I do run away and there is a man hunt for me. It's really really hard for me, I can't watch t.v. without thinking I'm going to turn into every person I see. I keep repeating inside my head "I don't wish I was this person, I don't wish I was this person, I don't wish I was this person" Because that voice that is stuck in my head beats me to it by it saying "I wish I was this person." Then I counteract. Same goes for real life, I can't go to my local wal-mart with out that voice in my head saying that. My brain finds one single negative thing about a person and starts to obsess about it. I'm the nicest guy ever but you want believe what my brain makes me think about other people. Whether it thinks they look funny, walk funny, etc. It'll take that thought it just came up with and start making me think I'm going to turn into that because it makes me think those people are negative and starts repeating that phrase up above there. Then I, to counteract, start repeating "I don't wish I was this guy" until they are out of site and cleared from my ocd.
Last thing, and in case I think it's not fair that I get to change or another loved one, why not someone else who I love but at the same time wouldn't mind them changing? So when I'm done repeating "I don't wish I was this guy" I say to myself, "I wish my aunt [insert name] was this guy." No fair for me to change or a loved one... I certainly don't want to change. Let my aunt change. Trick the devil inside me to make him/her think that I love her, but at the same time I wouldn't mind if she changed into whatever.
So you can see, what I'm going through is really strong stuff. When it comes down to the point where I see her sick, sneezing and coughing. No, that aunt that I wouldn't mind changing, I don't want nothing to happen to her. I want the best for her. I just say these things about her so the evil spirits inside me don't win. What else could I possibly be suffering from if anything?
By the way, thank you for letting me post what I feel. I'm going to print out all that I wrote and give it to my doctor for her to figure out what kind of help I need.
Hello. I know that this is an old thread but I just wanted to give you a little advise on that voice in your head. It has more control when you treat it like its something that you can't fight easily. The truth is, that the less you validate it "the voice and the images" the less power it'll have over you. Its also important to have some sort of supervised support group if you don't have someone that you can already talk to. Fear works against you, you must learn to control your fear and keep your mind occupied. When you name your chemical imbalance "the devil" or "lucifer" then you're giving it power. Random chemical synapses do not equal the devil. You've instantly added fear to the equation along with personifying your random thoughts and voices. You've created a very scary boogyman and validated it. I used to make this mistake. You need to realize that its just chemicals and random firing synapses. Don't loose hope - and don't misunderstand me, you can beat it and put it in its place, but only if you believe in yourself and stop giving the random thoughts a persona. When it happens just think "hey these are random thoughts and I don't have to fear them or even place importance on them" and think of something calming like your favorite painting. Realize that you are not personally responsible for the awful images that pop into your head. I won't lie, everyday is a battle. Normal people will never understand so don't tell them. However everyday is a new day and every mental battle won makes you into a happier and stronger person. I have to deal with some heavy duty pure O crap without pills because they make me loose my mental sharpness and antidepressants make me aggressive. I'm here to tell you I'm proof that it can be dealt with. You can do it. Everyone falls down, the trick is learning how to get right back up.
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