I have been having mental health issues for about 4yrs know.
I hear voices that i think people i am with at have said to me and they really havn't.
I think every one is after me and would love to see me dead.
the voices just me so crazy at time to the point it really hurts my head and all i see is darkness and feel like i am being sucked into the darkness.
Along with i feel i see no light or peace and it's the most lonely and empty feel always, as people just can't understand what it is like to live with. I have inthe past tried to kill myself just to stop the pain of living with this and though i am on medication by doctors and speak to people about this it still never really goes away.
The doctor have said i have major depression, PSTD and aniety
I know try to stay away from people and i really don't like crowds and really have no trust or faith in people or the world i like in.
I do have a counsellor and thought i go to every appointment each time i go and we talk about things in order to clear my head each time, i'm the and we work on these issues i feel myself going back to the darkness and there i see myself hanging from a tree, not moving and it seem a state of real peace and harmony.
Also because of this my mental health i have lost my kids.
I also have been assulted twice once wear i was almost stabbed and second where i had blood squired on my face.
I also found that there always seem not much in the way of understanding or help with from nomal GP Doctors. I know there are people out there that have had it worse than me, that i understand. alass i still live with this each and every day of my life. I also have it in my sleep mightmares where i feel i am under thret and not safe and wakeup in fear. my partner say i am always talking in my sleep and morning i awake feel like i have just been in a battle of wars.
At this point live really has very little happiness.
I also know this drive my family crazy with worry and my partner.
in my childhood i also was sexual abused and had i very hard time growing up. I really wonder if there will be any end to my mental illness and the pain it is for me to face each day and knight 24/7, with that seem no end in sight. Hope someone can understand this in someway or is maybe living life like i do.
as so many people just do not understand because they have never lived it or are still living it. a live of a private hellish hell