mimgregg

For 2 years I have been struggling to learn how to be a different person after suffering a closed head injury. To add insult I fought workman's comp, LTD, and eventually retired through the state disability system. I have struggled to lower my personal ability standards and try to accept the physical and mental disabilities that I must carry for life. I took a chance a remarried a remarkably charming man 4 months ago, we started dating a few months before my injury, and then and I broke it off for 6 months after my injury as I could not handle myself much less another person. Within 2 1/2 months of marriage I realized he married me with the concept that I was his property now and seeing as how I was disabled no one would believe my word against his. He physically assaulted me in front of my child resulting in hospital visit and arrests. I had the audacity to try and fight back so therefore in SC you go to jail too. Needless to say, I am in the process of getting a divorce hopefully by November. The problems I am experiencing is that I cannot sleep much at night due to pain, physical and mental. When I do sleep, I relive the time we were together and the things he did to me. I am still struggling with other issues and the stress of all this has made me quite mentally spastic I guess you could say. I have random yet sever panic attacks. I walk around the house all night checking windows and doors. I hear noises constantly. I seem to see things peripherally that are not there. I just had ACDF neck surgery 2 weeks ago. The best sleep I got was under anesthesia. Even with all the medication (9 of them) I cannot seem to sleep most nights either due to arthritis pain or mental stress. How do I deal with this? It is affecting my ability to leave the house unless I am accompanied. I should be rail thin from the stomach issues, but am not. I of course have a restraining order but as most of you know that is only a piece of paper. I need to sleep, and usually I have to wait for my roommate and son to go to school and work before I can. Any suggestions? The victim advocates just told me to stay in the house, lock the doors and show up for court.......
MimGregg