dumakey77

this may turn out to be a long one... i am new here and have to find out what is happening to me. i have been bipolar and borderline most of my adult life. i have had manic episodes, and deep depression, also with vague depression for short periods of time. My doc says that i am rapid cycling, which i can agree with, but this time i have been having other symptoms that ive never had before... usually i can indicate that i am going into a manic phase because my actions and thoughts are predictable. so this time i feel very close to manic, yet i have been doing wierd things. I talk to the voice in my head. out loud. like a live commentary of exactly what i am doing at that moment. constantly. not only is this a bit scary i dont know if the voice in my head this time is my own. its hard to tell. i have somehow gotten a nasty case of memory loss, short term mostly. but what is interesting is i just go blank. i have to interupt the conversation just to ask and remember what we were talking about and why. when i talk i cant seem to find the word i intended to use because its just gone. blank. and my thesaurus part of the brain, haha, cant find any words to use because by then i have totaly lost the whole conversations. now this is a big problem because i am talking my head off to people and sometimes so fast i cant keep up with myself. i haave had 3 panic attacks this week, 1 for 10 min and the other two for an hour or more. and they leave me exausted but i cant seem to calm myself, like i normally can. its like all the tools i have learned to cope with this are gone. (and i actually have good coping skills and behavior modifications like rationalizing my actions...etc) i also feel elated at times when it is inappropriate, so happy that i feel like screaming and jumping up and down like a lottery winner or something. jeez this is long. im sorry. anyways.... i have had auditory hallucinations (always hearing my name like someone is trying to get my attention.) and this feels real. it doesnt feel like its in my head. like someone is in the room with me . and possibly a couple of visuals but they are usually like peripheral, so i am not sure if i saw something or it was my imagination. and the thing that bothers me the most is I cant stop myself from laughing. excessively. and at inappropriate times. i have had this mental illness crap for so long that i thought i had it under control.. and now i am in the dark and pretty scared of what could be happening to me. is it possible to be bipolar and be diagnosed as a schitzophrenic all of a sudden? unfortunately i am a web junkie and now that i have searched for answers, they werent the ones i wanted. all my symptoms are attributed to schitzo symptoms. can this happen to me? i have a psych appt. monday, and a neurology appt, wed for an mri. i almost wish they find something tangible to explain this new annoying me. im sorry this was so long but like i said earlier... i cant stop myself from talking and or in this case typing what i say. i feel crazy. help. any answers will be appreciated. thank you!