ughhhh. what is going on with me?! - Mental Health Message Board

xvi · 05-10-2008, 09:19 AM

well, i have this jealousy problem. and i thought that's all it was until lately, but now i'm thinking maybe it's some kind of symptom of some disorder or something. it's like everytime i am not the center of attention, whether it be in person or online even, i get all hysterical and jealous of whoever is getting more than me. that's only the minour part though.

about a year and a half ago i started liking this guy in real life, who i didn't even really know by the way, but he had a girlfriend and i'm extremely shy, so i didn't do anything. i know it would be normal to just be a little jealous of his gf, but it was crazy. everytime i was around her i felt like i wanted to kill her or something, and when i saw them together i felt like i was going to burst into tears. but alas, i got over that instantly in a couple months only, when i met this next guy i'm going to talk about...

i met him online and i know him for a bit over a year now, and i still "love" him as much as i did in the beginning. even though we haven't "dated" or barely even gotten along in almost a year. now i know that he liked a couple other girls online, and i know them all. and the crazy part is that even though he doesn't like them anymore, everytime i see even their screenname pop up or their name mentioned, i go into depressive mode and feel like i did with the other guy's gf.

now i know what most people think is going to be "oh you'll get over it, it's only online, blah blah blah", but no. it's been over a year already, and i am as jealous as ever. we had a falling out about six months back, i had this crazy couple month long episode and it was worse than ever. i was threatening suicide just to get attention, making scenes about everything, and more.

oh and i have already been diagnosed with cyclothymia and psychotic episodes, but i'm really not sure if that's what's causing me to be like this. sorry this is so long, but that's as best as i can explain it. so, from your opinion, is there anything else wrong with me that i haven't even realised yet? and if there is anything else you need to know, just ask.

Phoenix · 05-31-2008, 04:40 AM

Hello x,

From what I can sense, there seem to be trust and relationship issues.

What is your therapist saying?

Respectfully,

Phoenix

vanessa2318 · 06-04-2008, 04:16 AM

You might ask your therapist about Borderline Personality disorder. The fact that you have such instant and strong feelings for people whether in person or online and the strong jealousy issue can be signs of Borderline. Basically Borderline amplifies a persons emotions so where someone would normally have a crush on someone, a person with Borderline is full on in love. The feelings they feel are real, even though to others may seem a little too far fetched. Jealously can come with the fear of abandonment. I use to have these same issues and I was so embarrassed about how I would react to people(guys). I thought I was psycho for becoming so "in love" with someone I barely new for a while or getting jealous over someone I wasn't even dating. Once I started therapy though, I learned how to turn these emotions down a bit. I now know that if I feel something strong quickly to give it a while and see if it lessens. Now I don't fall in love with every guy that I crush on. Sounds silly saying that at age 32, but it's the truth.

I'm not saying that is anything close to what you have but, it would be something to ask your therapist about. Good Luck and I hope it helps.