disturbedman

hello this is my first thread on this forum i am having really bad trouble right now and i must say i already finished a psychological test composed of almost 600 questions ,i'll know the results in about 3 days ,my normal day consists of the following:smoking almost two packs of cigarettes ,drinking about 6 cups of coffee per day ,sleeping as much as i can,i almost have no contact with anyone except my psychiatrist,and my close family whom i already don't know how to deal with any of them.i never go out ,i never speak on the phone to friends or family ,i never practice sports ,internet has been my main source of information about what's happening in the world and all that has been going on for the past 5 years.i get agitated very easily when i'm walking sometimes in the street ,sometimes i even fight,i feel that everybody's talking about me with or without a reason,actually i believe they are and because i don't always take care of my appearance people call me all kinds of names in the world ,fagot, son of a *****, pervert,mama's boy everything you name it i must' ve heard it sometime , i really feel that i want to answer back to these words and i'm already physically big enough to do so but i just feel i can't ,i feel i don't have the wright to do so and they can say anything about me but i can't do the same, i can't connect emotionally with anybody and i don't trust anybody i don't have a relationship with reality or with myself most of the days i think people can hear what i think and they react to it by any way.bottom line is if anybody knows a similar case to this and can tell me what exactly do i have it'll be nice as soon as possible please i was just tired and needed to talk thank you