resolution09

That's really difficult. I think this happens a lot in friendships between females, where one needs constant reassurance of her looks but I think it's not typical for a man. But you know what surprises me the most? That in the age bracket you give he still has peers who make fun. I thought men eventually left that behind when they got to their mid-20's.

My inclination was to ask you if there was a situation where you could point out a similar looking man, someone who is in the same "looks" range. Like if he's a 6, point out some other guy who's a 6 and ask him to describe that person. And if he's kinder in his view of the other person, explain why you picked that person and see if he can express why he can be kind to the other person but not himself.

But the fact is, if he's an average looking fellow, I don't think the idea would register or even matter. To be honest, I thought you'd say he really was rather unattractive. But if he's average and just sort of stuck in the rut of believing himself ugly, I don't know what you can do until he's ready to change. And it's a pity. I know where of I speak. I've always thought I was unattractive. Within the past year I saw some family picture of myself as a young teen and I actually looked quite nice. It took me by surprise. But if you'd have told me that then, I would have been shut down to hearing it. I'd never been given that message at home and hearing it elsewhere wouldn't have mattered. Now I know I had that completely backwards.

Good luck. You sound like a nice, mature man. And good friend. Wish we had a few more of you.