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well if you feel like you really really really want to hurt someone now, that is a huge red flag

asking for help is great, the difficulty with this medium is as far as impact on change is very slight in certain immediate needs situations

off hand, you sound like a kind person who try's to do good, which is he best place too be

yet, there is this that........pent up and exlopde stuff.........which gives the visual impression of AC/DC song tnt dynomite

so, the conflict is trying to snuff a fuse out with arms tied behind ones back

there are some basic anger stuff that May help...........

a. you are not alone
b. it is a common issue
c. it is not rocket science............although damned does feel like it cause you have been trying to figure it out forever, and racking your brain and not only giving it the old college try but ten of em
d. once you are aware of it you are on the right road


on the other hand, not too bs you, there are different degree's, as there are in everything, thus, so, whereas some relief can be guick and good, for long term changes some commitments too real change have too take place

and here's the suck *** part, the road too relief are like barbers, u might go too the ten dollar clip joint and get the best haircut ever, or go too the hundred dollar clip joint and look worse than when u walked in................just meaning there is quite a bit of randomness on the road of finding a good barber

you need too hook up with a good barber, get a haircut, and look in the mirror, and if you like it, go right back, if not, find another barber, they rarely start cutting hair better like a miracle, the fact is there is bad every where

so, in all seriousness you need to confide in a friend or family member, and ask them for assistance in getting you thru some tough emotional times, then u need to find a professional for some help, and if you don't like him or her, close the door and move on, pro's are like any relationship, some are matches and some are not, you want a match asap, and after you find a match, you want a match that makes you FEEL your making progress

you give the impression you are very smart, like you know what u need too do, just a nod and a prod saying, bro' do the right thing, it's time man, do the right thing, you will be the one who benefits, you will come out being proud of yourself for getting it right