I'm 15 years old, and have Depersonalization Disorder.
First of all, It's going to be my first time going to a show like this. I seem to have a lot of anxiety when I go to an unfamiliar place, and it often triggers an episode of depersonalization, which brings me more anxiety. Its ends pretty late, and I'm scared of getting an episode while I'm in there. I feel like I'm going to be shaking, and have a racing, pounding heart throughout the whole night. I also have a lot of anxiety about having a heart attack, and I constantly have to check my pulse to make sure it's still going. It might sound silly, especially since I'm only 15 and I'm in shape, but I have a bad anxiety problem
Second, it's going to be with a friend that I've never really hung out with before, we've only spoken together online, and occasionally smile at each other whenever we see one another. She's a great person, but I'm unfamiliar with her, and also, I have a bit of a "thing" for her, which brings me more stress, more panic, and more anxiety. I'm scared of awkwardness, or getting an attack in front of this girl who I really like, which would be HELL. Plus, I have all these other anxiety problems which wont help at all.
This kind of thing happens ALL the time, and it causes me to blow people off and cancel plans, and it's ruining my social life. Because of this problem, I don't like going out with new friends. I just get really scared, or end up canceling on them. I know it's dumb, but I can't help the way I feel.
I'm not the type of guy who goes to these kind of shows and stays out late, mostly because I have all this fear.
Please help me. I don't want to come off as a loser, or as a fool
Or as if I'm not into her.
As for therapy, I'm going to be seeing a psychiatrist soon, but certainly not before this "date".
Unfortunately I don't think there are any off-the-counter drugs for anxiety.