Feeling Rotten To The Core... - Mental Health Message Board

xblondeangel650 · 02-25-2009, 06:39 PM

I went to my Pdoc today for medication management and to elaberate how my mood has been fluctuating the past few weeks.I've been seeing her for almost two years,I spent a half hour talking about all my problems and feelings,she came up with the right diagnosis for me this time,Boarderline Personality Disorder.I had no idea what that was untill she explained everything to me,it's similiar to Manic Bipolar so patients are often misdiagnosed.

All this time,I've wondered often why I felt so disconnected and irritable with no reason,untill now of course.I did alot of research on this mental illness and it describes me to the T,I'm not happy about it though.In my opninion,I think this is worse then being Bipolar because you have no control or know when your feeling any emotions,especially since your numn off of medications.

I'm on a mood stablizer,Depakote ER 1000mg,and my Pdoc just uped the dosage of my Prozac from 20mg to 30mg,from the suicidal thoughts.I just feel so tired and frustrated because I go from being realy happy too a deep sudden depression as if I'm "not with it" at all.It doesn't help that I don't work,that I'm home most of the time because it's winter and cold outside,I'm on a waiting list for Intensive Outpatient Care,so it's terrible now.

Anyone going through this too?Any ideas?I'm lost,realy lost...

caitlin122 · 03-10-2009, 08:59 PM

I'm not going through boderline personality disorder, but I do have bipolar, and am currently in the middle of a hypomania/depressive cycle episode. I know how you feel. It's dissappointing and hard to deal with when you feel like this. One piece of advice I can give that helps me at times is to concentrate fully on you and what you want. Do things to relax, like go tanning(which helps with depression), read a good book, get involved in a hobby that will keep you busy. I know it's not much, but any little thing helps. Maybe you should add something else to your Depakote. I am will be going back on that this week. I have been on it in the past, and it does work great, but sometimes other meds are needed in combination to maintain a stable balance. Let me know how things are going.