result of the past 25 years..? - Mental Health Message Board

hairier yet.. · 02-27-2009, 12:24 PM

It's something to ponder, would you read and comment? I need somone to talk to.

At a young age I entered into the most tumultous one on one relationship of my life, that which became my marriage. Courtship and marriage equalled 17 years and produced two children. Acquired a "dreamhouse" during the waning years of the marriage, invested around $100,000 in it and lost almost all after the divorce, along with family unit of course. Total devastation.. Singleness enters picture -- years of singleness and lonliness. My job was cut and was forced to take another job, (same company) resulting in an overwhelming, total and radical lifestyle change. My father died several years ago then my mother died about a year later. Total devastation again.

The worst is to come. After all my years of living, latent (or dormant) homosexuality, never struggled with or wanted rears it's head and over a period of about a year comes almost to full life within my life. If anyone wonders, it's true that many have this condition, (latent homosexuality) and do not want, practice or desire it. It has happened, and once again, has had one of the most life altering effects upon me imaginable.

Now, mainly because of the homosexualtiy issue I go about most days in a trance like state. It has affected my job performance and every day quality of life. I'm no longer the person I used to be. It's truly amazing at the difference in my life. The negative effect upon me is a lot more than someone who accepted this situation in their life. I still do not want to be what has happened to me.

Sometimes I just don't know. All of the things that have happened over the past 25 years are devastating. It's common for a downturn of events to happen to anyone, I know.

I'm spiritual, a Christian. I'm captivated by my problems. Nothing seems to break for me, even in my spiritual life. I'm bound to be doing something wrong. Anyone care to comment?

Any responses welcome. Thanks.

-h

User#1337 · 02-27-2009, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hairier yet..

It's something to ponder, would you read and comment? I need somone to talk to.

At a young age I entered into the most tumultous one on one relationship of my life, that which became my marriage. Courtship and marriage equalled 17 years and produced two children. Acquired a "dreamhouse" during the waning years of the marriage, invested around $100,000 in it and lost almost all after the divorce, along with family unit of course. Total devastation.. Singleness enters picture -- years of singleness and lonliness. My job was cut and was forced to take another job, (same company) resulting in an overwhelming, total and radical lifestyle change. My father died several years ago then my mother died about a year later. Total devastation again.

The worst is to come. After all my years of living, latent (or dormant) homosexuality, never struggled with or wanted rears it's head and over a period of about a year comes almost to full life within my life. If anyone wonders, it's true that many have this condition, (latent homosexuality) and do not want, practice or desire it. It has happened, and once again, has had one of the most life altering effects upon me imaginable.

Now, mainly because of the homosexualtiy issue I go about most days in a trance like state. It has affected my job performance and every day quality of life. I'm no longer the person I used to be. It's truly amazing at the difference in my life. The negative effect upon me is a lot more than someone who accepted this situation in their life. I still do not want to be what has happened to me.

Sometimes I just don't know. All of the things that have happened over the past 25 years are devastating. It's common for a downturn of events to happen to anyone, I know.

I'm spiritual, a Christian. I'm captivated by my problems. Nothing seems to break for me, even in my spiritual life. I'm bound to be doing something wrong. Anyone care to comment?

Any responses welcome. Thanks.

-h

See a psychologist and get some meds, you're obviously depressed. Hate to say it, but God won't fix it for you. You have to do something for yourself this time, bud.

negot · 02-27-2009, 09:48 PM

First, I want to tell you that I am sorry about your divorce and the passing of your parents. I understand how devastating that must have been.
The rest of your post I am not sure that I understand. You say that the fact that you are homosexual has altered your life and job performance. Why? What is wrong with being homosexual? What exactly do you feel bad about?
Could you please write some more about your feelings on this? I honestly don't understand what the problem is. I promise to respond to your post again. I am just trying to understand what it is that you need support with.

User#1337 · 02-27-2009, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by negot

First, I want to tell you that I am sorry about your divorce and the passing of your parents. I understand how devastating that must have been.
The rest of your post I am not sure that I understand. You say that the fact that you are homosexual has altered your life and job performance. Why? What is wrong with being homosexual? What exactly do you feel bad about?
Could you please write some more about your feelings on this? I honestly don't understand what the problem is. I promise to respond to your post again. I am just trying to understand what it is that you need support with.

He's not homosexual is the problem, and that one experience has made it hard for him to live with himself. What I think happened is that in the midst of his already present depression, he had some kind of homosexual experience and it worsened his depression because he hates thinking about that experience because he doesn't want to be, or doesn't consider himself to be homosexual.

Once again, you can't pray your problems away, you need to see a psychologist.

negot · 02-28-2009, 05:29 PM

I am sorry that some people are so hard on themselves. So what if one has a homosexual experience? It isn't the end of the world. Hairier, you say that you are a Christian, are you afraid that God is going to punish you for it? I seriously doubt that God cares whom we sleep with. Please give yourself a break. Post here so that others can give you some support.