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Old 04-11-2009, 06:56 PM   #1
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Unhappy Possible Schizophrenic?

Hello all ^.^ . My name's Chris, and I'm a full time student (going into freshman year in college), and I'm 18.

Anyway, I have been diagnosed with Clinical Depression, Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Bipolar Disorder.

The issue with my Bipolar Disorder, is that I'm starting to show signs that could potentially show a possibility of Schizophrenia. What I have noticed is a complete and utter lack of hygiene forming (showering once a week), I sometimes think that people can see my thoughts and so I feel the need to restrict what I think, which causes me stress since I have to push away unwanted thoughts.

Lately, I have been showing an increasing issue with expressing what I want to say w/o screwing up my wording, or saying things backwards or forgetting words...although I don't always get this.

I tend to think about weird things such as that maybe this world is all just fake and that we're all lying in pods on some weird planet dreaming our own worlds, or that maybe our world is part of some weird item (like a shoe), and that we're making up a larger matter that is human-like. I never really voice these opinions since they sound insane.

I tend to think that people are always talking badly about me and that people think that I'm a weird person or that if someone isn't in the perfect mood that it's because of me and whatnot (this being the case with my physics teacher).

I tend to talk to people in my mind who aren't there in reality (friends and whatnot)...I don't see then nor do I hear them in the sense of the word, but I do visualize a situation and I hear them talking to me and I talk to them mentally and verbally (out loud).

One example is when I was in the shower and I started thinking about myself talking to my psychotherapist and sitting in her office. I was speaking out loud in the shower to her and asking her why I'm so crazy. It was at this point where I completely forgot I was in the shower and I regained perception of my surroundings about 2 minutes later.

Another issue I have is that I lose complete control of myself and have episodes where I have no idea what I'm going to do. I got angry at my stepfather while driving and I took a sharp turn w/o breaking into a side street and pulled onto the side of the road and yelled as loud as I coud "NOW ARE WE GOING TO SHUT THE ****** UP?!!!" and then I slammed on the gas and made a u-turn and went back on driving (recklessly and fast). I only calmed down about 30 minutes after in which I felt none of the emotion I had before.

Little things can send me straight into a massive depression where I become suicidal and I cut my arms (wrist area), act out, attempt suicide (3 times so far...was hospitalized for 2), and scare the living hell out of my friends.

While I would mention my lack of fear and remorse, my meds are known to screw up parts like the hypothalamus and amygdala.

Anyway, those are some of the symptoms that I have, and was wondering what you guys thought . I think that I show symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and I will be seeing my psychiatrist and psychotherapist soon to try and get down to the "nitty gritty". I was almost admitted tonight after I was talking to my mom about this :\ .

Last edited by Swamp56; 04-11-2009 at 07:49 PM.

 
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Old 04-12-2009, 01:18 AM   #2
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Re: Possible Schizophrenic?

I'm not a medical professional, but I am very familiar with schizophrenia and bipolar since I've been hearing voices since 1991, have been paranoid since 1995 and have had bipolar since 2006.

It sounds to me as if you have schizoaffective disorder. People with schizoaffective disorder display symptoms of mania and depression, but they also have difficulty with thinking and expressing themselves in writing and/or orally.
They experience visual and/or auditory hallucinations during a manic episode, a depressive episode and during normal mood.

There are 3 other diagnoses where bipolar coexists with schizophrenic-like symptoms:

Atypical Bipolar: A person may hear voices and/or see things that aren't there during a manic and/or depressive episode. They may also have rapid mood swings or frequent hypomania.

Bipolar I or II with Psychotic Features: A person may hear voices and/or see things that aren't there during a manic or depressive episode. If their moods cycle, they do not change as rapidly as they do for someone who has atypical bipolar.

Bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified): A person may hear voices and/or see things that aren't there during a manic or psychotic episode. Their moods may also cycle, but again, they don't cycle as frequently as they do for someone with atypical bipolar. Their primary symptoms are also unrelated to bipolar and their psychosis is the result of a separately diagnosed psychotic disorder. If someone is diagnosed with bipolar NOS, it means that they do not fit the standard criteria for bipolar I or II.

If you are experiencing psychotic symptoms, I would definitely talk to your pdoc. He or she may be able to prescribe an antipsychotic. I'm taking an antipsychotic called Risperdal for my voices. I've only started taking it recently, but this is the first time I haven't heard voices since 1991.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-12-2009 at 01:21 AM.

 
Old 04-12-2009, 10:52 AM   #3
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Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

Thank you for your reply!

I am already on Seroquel for my bipolar, and when I stay on it, the delusions such as thinking people can hear my thoughts go away, but I still talk to people who aren't there and whatnot.

My parents keep telling me that nothing is wrong and that I'm simply going through a tough time, and brushing off what I say.
__________________
Rx:
Seroquel 600mg,
Wellbutrin SR 150mg,
Lexapro 60mg,
Topamax 50mg

 
Old 04-12-2009, 11:31 AM   #4
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Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swamp56 View Post
Thank you for your reply!

I am already on Seroquel for my bipolar, and when I stay on it, the delusions such as thinking people can hear my thoughts go away, but I still talk to people who aren't there and whatnot.

My parents keep telling me that nothing is wrong and that I'm simply going through a tough time, and brushing off what I say.
I'm glad Seroquel works well for you. I've heard alot of good things about that med and how effective it can be for bipolar symptoms as well as delusions.

Have you told your pdoc about the fact that you talk to people who aren't there? I'm not sure what can be done about that, but perhaps he has a suggestion he could offer.

I know how you feel about parents not understanding. It took a very long time for my parents to accept the fact that I heard voices. They always used to blame it on stress and insisted that the voices I heard were my inner thoughts when they clearly were not. Once they saw me experience a psychotic episode, they were convinced of the fact that I was really hearing them.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-12-2009 at 11:36 AM.

 
Old 04-12-2009, 06:11 PM   #5
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Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dreams in neon View Post
I'm glad Seroquel works well for you. I've heard alot of good things about that med and how effective it can be for bipolar symptoms as well as delusions.

Have you told your pdoc about the fact that you talk to people who aren't there? I'm not sure what can be done about that, but perhaps he has a suggestion he could offer.

I know how you feel about parents not understanding. It took a very long time for my parents to accept the fact that I heard voices. They always used to blame it on stress and insisted that the voices I heard were my inner thoughts when they clearly were not. Once they saw me experience a psychotic episode, they were convinced of the fact that I was really hearing them.
The only people who have ever seen me have a psychotic episodes were my friends :\ .

But ya, I have been thinking if this is all in my mind (me not really having these symptoms, but thinking I do), but then I realize that even during the summer I wouldn't be able to sit on one side of the bed because if I did, I thought my friend wouldn't like me; I also thought my friend would kill himself if I didn't re-arrange my desktop icons or uninstall certain programs in my computer. I can't tell if this is OCD or some weird delusional thing.

I have noticed that I think people can read my thoughts, and this certainly is an odd sign, but idk.
__________________
Rx:
Seroquel 600mg,
Wellbutrin SR 150mg,
Lexapro 60mg,
Topamax 50mg

 
Old 04-13-2009, 01:26 AM   #6
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Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swamp56 View Post
The only people who have ever seen me have a psychotic episodes were my friends :\ .

But ya, I have been thinking if this is all in my mind (me not really having these symptoms, but thinking I do), but then I realize that even during the summer I wouldn't be able to sit on one side of the bed because if I did, I thought my friend wouldn't like me; I also thought my friend would kill himself if I didn't re-arrange my desktop icons or uninstall certain programs in my computer. I can't tell if this is OCD or some weird delusional thing.

I have noticed that I think people can read my thoughts, and this certainly is an odd sign, but idk.
The fact that you think people can read your thoughts sounds like a delusion to me.

I experienced this as well during my first manic/psychotic episode.

I thought famous radio DJs were inserting thoughts into my head, controlling my thinking and reading my thoughts.

I communicated with them by thinking to myself. My thoughts would travel through the air to wherever they were.

The DJs would respond to them and send their thoughts back to me.

I also thought that the FBI was sending messages to me through the TV, radio and e-mail.

I know all of this sounds really strange, but that's what happens when you're delusional. Nothing makes sense and you don't realize that it isn't real until after you are able to start thinking clearly.

I can think logically about my delusions after the fact, but when I'm hearing voices, I believe all of my delusions are true and no one can convince me otherwise.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-13-2009 at 01:32 AM.

 
Old 04-13-2009, 07:36 AM   #7
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Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

Ya, last night I had to close my blinds because it felt like I was being watched... I also couldn't see why someone wouldn't be able to read my mind. Sometimes I keep thinking that I'm making this all up to think that I have some other issue, but I have thought people could read my mind since I was in 5th grade (I'm a graduating senior in high school at the moment).

My parents think that I'm just trying to find something else to diagnose myself with and that this is in my head.

I also noticed that when I'm around friends I tend to forget these things and I don't have delusions. Thing is that I'm usually alone, since I don't have many friends.
__________________
Rx:
Seroquel 600mg,
Wellbutrin SR 150mg,
Lexapro 60mg,
Topamax 50mg

Last edited by Swamp56; 04-13-2009 at 07:59 AM.

 
Old 04-13-2009, 01:24 PM   #8
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Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

Also, my medicine has entered my system, so I'm not showing many signs now; I put int a call to my psychiatrist and got her earliest appointment on the 23rd of April, and I called my psychotherapist and left her a message explaining I was showing strange symptoms when not on my meds and that I want to setup an appointment soon.
__________________
Rx:
Seroquel 600mg,
Wellbutrin SR 150mg,
Lexapro 60mg,
Topamax 50mg

 
Old 04-13-2009, 02:05 PM   #9
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Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swamp56 View Post
Also, my medicine has entered my system, so I'm not showing many signs now; I put int a call to my psychiatrist and got her earliest appointment on the 23rd of April, and I called my psychotherapist and left her a message explaining I was showing strange symptoms when not on my meds and that I want to setup an appointment soon.
I'm glad you were able to call your pdoc and tdoc. Good luck at both of your appointments. I hope you'll keep me posted on how everything goes.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-13-2009 at 02:06 PM.

 
Old 04-22-2009, 09:47 AM   #10
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Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

I strongly disagree with your post especially as it pertains to bipolar. Bipolar is a lifelong disorder that requires meds. If left untreated, bipolar can become worse to the point where a person experiences progressively severe manic episodes as they age.

As far as a person having the desire to continue having symptoms, this is true of some people who have bipolar when they are manic. Many of them feel extremely happy, overconfident, productive and intelligent that they do not want meds to dampen their emotions.

If a manic episode is not controlled by meds, this can lead to psychosis and delusions. This is what happened to me in 2006 after I was manic from December 2004-March 2006. (Note that I wasn't diagnosed with bipolar until March 2006.) I started hearing up to 20 different voices, was delusional and extremely paranoid. Once I was given high doses of mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, I was able to come down from my mania and my voices completely disappeared.

I would NOT advise anyone to stop taking their meds for schizophrenia or bipolar. If this is something a person feels strongly about, they need to discuss this with their pdoc first since stopping meds cold turkey can result in seizures or other conditions.

I really hope those who are reading this thread stop and think about how important meds are. Schizophrenia and bipolar cannot be "cured" by thinking your way out of it or turning to a higher power. I've had auditory hallucinations since 1991 and have prayed to God numerous times, but I still
continued to hear voices. It wasn't until my pdoc prescribed Risperdal that I stopped hearing them 24/7.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by hb-mod; 04-22-2009 at 11:42 AM. Reason: Removed Quote.

 
Old 04-22-2009, 09:53 AM   #11
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: Schizophrenia or Bipolar?

If a person wants to have a competition as to who takes the most meds, they have bigger problems than mental illness. As for myself, I really don't care how many meds I'm on as long as they address my symptoms.

By the way, in case anyone is wondering, the reason why I include a list of my meds in my signature is because I want to help others who are taking the same meds. When I started taking Depakote and Risperdal 3 years ago, I found the experiences of others helpful since it allowed me to know what I could expect in terms of possible side effects.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-22-2009 at 10:11 AM.

 
Old 04-27-2009, 08:24 AM   #12
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Re: Possible Schizophrenic?

Hi all, thanks for your postings. I have been recovering fom Schizoeffective disorder for over twenty years. I make it a point not to miss meds and appointments with my doctors. About twelve years ago I was able to get a car and maintain it so getting to work hasn't been a problem, although for a long while I had trouble getting up which caused me to get fired a few times. I logged on to this site because i tend to lose touch with my illness. People say i appear so normal that they have never suspected anything like saying I am behaving oddly or anything. I spend a lot of energy keeping a neat appearance because the years I spent in treatment before going into the workforce full-time, I noticed how much patients change when they stop their meds. They grow beards or stop showering. Their voices get softer making it hard to hear them, they get violent sometimes too. I knew a guy who threw a chair through a store window after he went off his meds.I have been having a hard time now as the weather is nicer and I have feelings I should be out with friends or hiking or something, or playing tennis. i put so much energy into appearing normal i forget that there are times when a little craziness is necessary. By craziness I mean spontaneity and laughter or allowing myself to make jokes with people and being a bit of a clown, which i used to be before getting ill. I hardly ever feel like myself even thought it has been pretty good for a long while. Only three hospitalizations since 86. I am worried because I feel myself starting to isolate which is not good. i have an appt on Wednesday to see my doctor. I wish all of you guys well. Sorry for the long email but I felt a need to get this out and connect. Write back if you are so inclined. JS

 
Old 04-27-2009, 11:45 AM   #13
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dreams in neon HB Userdreams in neon HB User
Re: Possible Schizophrenic?

JS,

Have you thought about volunteering in your community once or twice/week? This is a great way to meet others and make new friends. Now that I'm stable on my meds, I volunteer twice/week. I have a wonderful time, I love what I do and have made many friends in the process.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 04-27-2009 at 11:45 AM.

 
Old 04-27-2009, 02:43 PM   #14
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Re: Possible Schizophrenic?

Thanks so much for the suggestion. I will look into it. Much appreciated. I will touch base to let you know how it is going. JS

 
Old 04-27-2009, 03:21 PM   #15
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Re: Possible Schizophrenic?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jsanchezart View Post
Thanks so much for the suggestion. I will look into it. Much appreciated. I will touch base to let you know how it is going. JS
You're welcome. Good luck!
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
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