This Alligator And Guy In Black - Mental Health Message Board

Swamp56 · 04-20-2009, 07:21 PM

Ya...

First off, I'm diagnosed with Clinical Depression, Manic Depression (Bipolar), OCD, and Anxiety and I take Lexapro (60mg), Welbutrin (150mg) and Seroquel (50mg).

When I'm not on my medication, I have this excessive fear of putting my arms or legs out of my bed because I think this alligator will try to eat my body parts. He is under my bed sometimes and wants to do what I fear that he will do. I have never seen him before, but I never know if he's real or not. I feel like I have to put my arms and legs inside my bed or else he'll get them. To me, when I'm not on my medication, I think he could be real, and I get frightened.

Then there's this guy who wears a ski mask and all black burgler clothes. I fear he may be in my house, and I have to look behind my back when I walk through a dark hallway...when I'm lying in bed at my mother's house (which has a railing-type headboard), I'm afraid he might grab me, or when I'm in my room and I turn out the lights, he might try to grab me, and I have to run and jump into my bed. I'm only safe when I'm in my bed...he won't get me there...or when I'm suspended above ground (like lying on a couch) as well.

I spoke with my psychotherapist about this paranoia and all of the delusional thinking I have when off of my medication (thinking people can read my mind, my life could be a big dream, I don't know who's real, etc), and she said that first off, I'm not schizophrenic...she said that I show symptoms of paranoia, and as well as symptoms of OCD (which I have been diagnosed with for years)...

The thing I don't think she understands is the fact that I'm DELUSIONAL. I'm frightened that this guy is going to get me and that this alligator will want to eat my arms and legs.

That in and of itself should be a sufficient signs of a possibility of schizophrenia (I'm not diagnosing myself). I see my psychiatrist this Thursday, but I feel like I can't wait that long to see her.

I don't know what to do...it feels like my mental sanity is being torn apart and flushed down the toilet

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dingogirl · 04-20-2009, 09:24 PM

I think you need to find a new psychiatrist. It sounds like schizophrenia to me.

Swamp56 · 04-20-2009, 10:39 PM

I forgot to mention that my psychotherapist also said she finds the lack of my own hygiene and the alligator to be concerning for her and she wants me to call her this Thursday (she wanted to see me again this week), and she asked me if I was okay to drive.