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Old 05-01-2009, 04:26 AM   #1
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whats this happening to me

Since 2:30 am on may 1, 09, I am having trouble sleeping. I just keeping jerks on the back of my head. I just keep getting thoughts of girls eventhough I am trying to avoid it. Yesterday, I read about 2 girls in news paper. Now when I close my eyes, I just see images of girls, real and imaginary. Even before closing my eyes, if I was thinking different, still I see girls images, the moment I close my eyes. When I move my head, Im not feeling normal. Some kind of jerk is felt when my baby makes noise. This may be because of the fear that baby is not well. My baby woke up since 5 am and that bothers me, when she is not going to sleep. But at the same time I am also unable to sleep because of my own problems.

Am I losing control of my head ?

 
Old 05-01-2009, 06:20 AM   #2
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Re: whats this happening to me

So you had trouble sleeping last night and you're thinking about two girls you read about in the newspaper? No, I don't think you're losing your mind. If this continues over a long period of time, maybe you might have something to worry about.

One night of semi-insomnia and obsessing about something you read is well within the spectrum of normal human behavior though.

 
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Old 05-01-2009, 08:37 AM   #3
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Re: whats this happening to me

If you had constant thoughts and difficulty sleeping for 3 nights or more, then I would be concerned. The behaviors you are exhibiting are completely normal and nothing to worry about.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 05-01-2009, 09:46 PM   #4
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Re: whats this happening to me

thanks.
But the uneasyness I feel is not normal uneasyness. The happenings of such sleepless nights has become more frequent lately.
My mind just always wants to fantasize about sex. Sometimes I try hard and avoid such thoughts. After 6-7 hours of avoiding, my mind starts to give in to the craving of such fantasies. Sometimes, after trying hard and avoiding such thoughts, I feel like now I can overcome such fantasies and there is no problem in fantasizing for now. And again fantasy ride starts. Its hard for me to resist the craving.

Any inputs please ?

 
Old 05-01-2009, 09:50 PM   #5
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Re: whats this happening to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by manishrathi View Post
thanks.
But the uneasyness I feel is not normal uneasyness. The happenings of such sleepless nights has become more frequent lately.
My mind just always wants to fantasize about sex. Sometimes I try hard and avoid such thoughts. After 6-7 hours of avoiding, my mind starts to give in to the craving of such fantasies. Sometimes, after trying hard and avoiding such thoughts, I feel like now I can overcome such fantasies and there is no problem in fantasizing for now. And again fantasy ride starts. Its hard for me to resist the craving.

Any inputs please ?
I would suggest that you discuss this further with a therapist who can help you deal with and find the meaning behind these thoughts.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 05-02-2009, 12:31 PM   #6
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Re: whats this happening to me

Sometime the harder you try to avoid something the stronger it becomes. What happens if you face it and see what it is trying to tell you?

 
Old 05-02-2009, 08:44 PM   #7
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Re: whats this happening to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by manishrathi View Post
thanks.
But the uneasyness I feel is not normal uneasyness. The happenings of such sleepless nights has become more frequent lately.
My mind just always wants to fantasize about sex. Sometimes I try hard and avoid such thoughts. After 6-7 hours of avoiding, my mind starts to give in to the craving of such fantasies. Sometimes, after trying hard and avoiding such thoughts, I feel like now I can overcome such fantasies and there is no problem in fantasizing for now. And again fantasy ride starts. Its hard for me to resist the craving.

Any inputs please ?

Maybe you should quit trying to avoid it so much. People fantasize about sex. That's normal behavior. Trying to supress it is probably making it worse. If you just leave it alone to run it's course, your mind will just move on to other things.

OF course, you're not really specific about your fantasies, so I can't say more. IF they're...of the disturbing type, then maybe you should see someone about them.

 
Old 05-02-2009, 08:47 PM   #8
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Re: whats this happening to me

Are your thoughts negatively impacting your daily life or are they bothersome and annoying?

If the former is true, I would suggest seeing a therapist.

If the latter is true, try to divert your attention to something else. Read a book, watch a favorite movie or listen to music. Do anything to help get your mind off of your current thoughts.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

Last edited by dreams in neon; 05-02-2009 at 08:49 PM.

 
Old 05-02-2009, 09:33 PM   #9
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Re: whats this happening to me

These thoughts are negatively impacting my routine life and I have realized that now. I have been doing these sexual fantasies for years and over these years my overall performance in every field has gone down. When I was 17 yrs old, I was day dreaming about being a big shot in future and making unrealistic goals and unrealistic plans to achieve these goals. Now I am fantasizing that I had been super brilliant in my teenage. I was good at everything and I had become multi millionnaire during my early twenties. I fantasize about super girls who studied with me and I had no chance of getting along with them based on my performance at that time.
Lately every 2-3 days, I get craving for porn videos thanks to availability of internet. Once I watch these videos, I just go back to my school days and start day dreaming about those girls. I fantasize about my primary school teachers too.
Now when I am talking to somebody, I feel like my mind is drifting to fantasies. Today I saw some pice of sex scandal of Hongkong start singers Bobo Chen, Gillian Chung, Cecilia Cheung and few more. I am unable to get rid of these pics.
Discussing on forums is helpful to certain extent.
As I said easlier, if I read book or watch movie and avoid these thoughts somehow, then after few hours these thoughts come back and wont go till I masturbate.
Even while having sex with wife, I have to fantasize. If I dont fantasize, I wont get erection.
If I have to learn something new, I take way longer time than usual. I take very long in understanding computers. Above all, I just dont like anything new where I have to employ my mind.
These fantasies, I have enjoyed so far because for that long I was feeling like king in fantasies and kept going on without realizing that these thoughts are taking heavy toll on me. I have worked very very hard during my school and college days for average performance. I did not realize that these fantasies are draining my energies and getting me down big time.
Whats the way out now ? I did go to psychiatryst and got some medication. But I am scared that I will be used to this medication and will not be able to live normally without it. Secondly, this medication slows the mind down and when I need to get mind thinking I wont be able to get it to work. After using this medication for few months (Not regularly as instructed by the doctor though. Once in a 3-4 days when I was prescribed once a day. Because after taking little medication I was feeling better). But with the use of this medication I developed restless leg syndrome. Which is one of the common side effects of such medication. So I stopped taking medication. Still I feel RLS here and there.
Once the craving starts, I just want to fantasize. I lose my senses and just fantasize. My willingness to fight these fantasies just melts. I like these fantasies. But lately when I masturbate, that drives my mind out of control. After that again I make up my mind to avoid these fantasies.
What should I do now ? Whats the way out ? How to develop strong willingness to get rid of this bad habbit ?

 
Old 05-02-2009, 10:16 PM   #10
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Re: whats this happening to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by manishrathi View Post
These thoughts are negatively impacting my routine life and I have realized that now. I have been doing these sexual fantasies for years and over these years my overall performance in every field has gone down. When I was 17 yrs old, I was day dreaming about being a big shot in future and making unrealistic goals and unrealistic plans to achieve these goals. Now I am fantasizing that I had been super brilliant in my teenage. I was good at everything and I had become multi millionnaire during my early twenties. I fantasize about super girls who studied with me and I had no chance of getting along with them based on my performance at that time.
Lately every 2-3 days, I get craving for porn videos thanks to availability of internet. Once I watch these videos, I just go back to my school days and start day dreaming about those girls. I fantasize about my primary school teachers too.
Now when I am talking to somebody, I feel like my mind is drifting to fantasies. Today I saw some pice of sex scandal of Hongkong start singers Bobo Chen, Gillian Chung, Cecilia Cheung and few more. I am unable to get rid of these pics.
Discussing on forums is helpful to certain extent.
As I said easlier, if I read book or watch movie and avoid these thoughts somehow, then after few hours these thoughts come back and wont go till I masturbate.
Even while having sex with wife, I have to fantasize. If I dont fantasize, I wont get erection.
If I have to learn something new, I take way longer time than usual. I take very long in understanding computers. Above all, I just dont like anything new where I have to employ my mind.
These fantasies, I have enjoyed so far because for that long I was feeling like king in fantasies and kept going on without realizing that these thoughts are taking heavy toll on me. I have worked very very hard during my school and college days for average performance. I did not realize that these fantasies are draining my energies and getting me down big time.
Whats the way out now ? I did go to psychiatryst and got some medication. But I am scared that I will be used to this medication and will not be able to live normally without it. Secondly, this medication slows the mind down and when I need to get mind thinking I wont be able to get it to work. After using this medication for few months (Not regularly as instructed by the doctor though. Once in a 3-4 days when I was prescribed once a day. Because after taking little medication I was feeling better). But with the use of this medication I developed restless leg syndrome. Which is one of the common side effects of such medication. So I stopped taking medication. Still I feel RLS here and there.
Once the craving starts, I just want to fantasize. I lose my senses and just fantasize. My willingness to fight these fantasies just melts. I like these fantasies. But lately when I masturbate, that drives my mind out of control. After that again I make up my mind to avoid these fantasies.
What should I do now ? Whats the way out ? How to develop strong willingness to get rid of this bad habbit ?
As far as meds are concerned, there are a variety that do not cause RLS or slowed thinking.

If you ever decide to start taking meds to help calm these thoughts, let your psychiatrist know any side effects you are experiencing. Your dosage can be changed and if necessary, a new med prescribed.

I would recommend that you see a therapist to discuss this further. If these thoughts are having this much of an impact on your life, you need to talk to someone who can help you deal with them effectively.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
Old 05-03-2009, 02:50 AM   #11
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Re: whats this happening to me

Yeah, I would suggest trying to see a psychologist or therapist to talk about your problems before going straight to medication. Medication can be great and effective for many things, but for your particular problem, I would at least try to find out what is at the root of it first, before turning straight to medication.

Medication is very good at treating problems that are neurological in nature. Chemical imbalances in the brain, etc., but your problem sounds to me like it could be the kind of thing that could be worked out thru threrapy. Using drugs might just be treating your symptoms but not dealing with any of the underlying problems. If therapy doens't work, then maybe you could try some medication, but I'd try therapy first.

Good luck!

 
Old 05-03-2009, 03:06 AM   #12
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Re: whats this happening to me

I did talk to psychiatryst. When I talk to him, he prescribed me medicine for obsessive thoughts. I was not taking it regularly. When I went to see him last week , I asked him to prescribe the medication again. He said that since I was not taking medication and was doing ok. So he did not prescribe me that medication. But since last 2 weeks, my mind is going on fsexual fantasies especially when I am in sleep. It just wakes me up and I stay awake for the rest of thr night, fearing that in the sleep I will lose control of the mind. Weird thoughts keep coming to mind, like images of political personalities, images of girls, thoughts of imaginary fantasy girls. I can not focus on anything at all. My sleep is disturbed. One day I sleep well and other day, these thoughts will disturb my sleep. Especially during sleep, I just get scared. If I sleep well, then these thoughts take control of my mind in the morning. When my sleep was not this badly disturbed, everyday in the morning, my mind had craving for these fantasies. I wd be in this fantasy ride for 1-2 hours. I would ask my psychiatryst for thr medication again. But my next appointment is in the month end, what shall I do till then ? This disturbed sleep is scaring me. I feel like I will go crazy.
This is getting scary.

 
Old 05-03-2009, 05:07 AM   #13
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Re: whats this happening to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by manishrathi View Post
I did talk to psychiatryst. When I talk to him, he prescribed me medicine for obsessive thoughts. I was not taking it regularly. When I went to see him last week , I asked him to prescribe the medication again. He said that since I was not taking medication and was doing ok. So he did not prescribe me that medication. But since last 2 weeks, my mind is going on fsexual fantasies especially when I am in sleep. It just wakes me up and I stay awake for the rest of thr night, fearing that in the sleep I will lose control of the mind. Weird thoughts keep coming to mind, like images of political personalities, images of girls, thoughts of imaginary fantasy girls. I can not focus on anything at all. My sleep is disturbed. One day I sleep well and other day, these thoughts will disturb my sleep. Especially during sleep, I just get scared. If I sleep well, then these thoughts take control of my mind in the morning. When my sleep was not this badly disturbed, everyday in the morning, my mind had craving for these fantasies. I wd be in this fantasy ride for 1-2 hours. I would ask my psychiatryst for thr medication again. But my next appointment is in the month end, what shall I do till then ? This disturbed sleep is scaring me. I feel like I will go crazy.
This is getting scary.
I would recommend that you schedule an appointment with a therapist and try to find another psychiatrist who will address your symptoms with meds if you feel that is appropriate.
__________________
Atypical Bipolar I Disorder with Rapid Cycling
Meds:
Depakote 1500mg
Prozac 40mg
Risperdal 1mg titrating to 6mg/day
Klonopin .5mg (2x/day)
Trazodone 100mg or 200mg PRN

 
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