heavenhell

My friend, who I attend college with, is a pathological liar.

Tyler (all fake names) is a 20 year old student at a reputable Canadian university. At first encounter, he comes off as being an extremely intelligent, charming, and eloquent person.

Ever since his arrival at university, he's always managed to keep his highschool life separate from his life in college. And we've always taken the stories he tells about his highschool days at face value. These stories usually revolve around crazy "Jackass" stunts that his friends and he used to do and his many juvenile arrests (mischief, assaults, assault with a weapon, attempted murder). His marks have declined compared to his high GPA in highschool. He never goes to classes. In his first year, he passed only 1 of his 5 courses.

His behaviour in college has always been violent and destructive. He has become an alcoholic. And when he's drinking, he goes from being charming to being extremely aggressive. However, humans are rarely the targets of his irrational anger; Walls, doors, windows, furnitures are usually the victims.

However this is only one part of him. Tyler is extremely eloquent and well read. A conversation with him and you'll realize just how much smarter he is than most everyone you've ever met. His arguments are well thought through and the endless knowledge he has is incredible. He is funny and can charm anyone he chooses. He is extremely likeable and sociable. However he does hold an arrogance suppassed by no one and an elevated sense of self importance. He knows he is smart and will often compare himself to men like Einstein and Hemingway.

In the past, his stories have always been relatively harmless. They seem like the types of stories that men make up to impress women and friends. Lately, his stories, however, have reached a new peak. While they still revolve around his highschool friends, they have taken on a dark spin.

He now claims that when he was 17, his friend Shane had been stabbed and died in a drug deal gone bad. An early version of this story had him only playing a minor part, but his new version of the story has him be the one that had negotiated the drug deal and Shane had taken his place to do the trade. And he had been the one that had cradled his dying friend in the back seat of the car as they drove to the hospital.

Then he tells another story of how he and 2 other friends had gone to the perpetrator's (the one that had knifed Shane) house in retribution. He claims to have left the guy paralyzed and within an inch of his life. But when asked to produce a name or an address by one of his therapist he couldn't. He claims that he never knew what the guy's name was.

Now he claims that his friend Paul and Chris were mugged this summer and the mugger had pulled out a gun. The mugger had shot Chris first in the arm, then Paul in the chest and was aiming for him when he somehow managed to tear the gun from the guy's hands. At this point in the story, Tyler claims some form of automatism where he became entirely unaware of his actions. And claims that when he woke up a day later in the hospital, he only knew what happened due to witnesses. Apparantly, he had shot the guy in the knee and in the face with the gun. (there is another version of this story where he claims that the mugger didn't die but that he had ruined his basketball career and it was all his fault) He was then charged with murder and later aquitted. Then to stop anyone from talking or checking into this story, he has come up with this cover: Paul's father is a supreme court judge and he had the case sealed as soon as it happened so it was never leaked to the media. And if we were to mention this story to anyone, we would receive 6 months in prison. To finish this story off, Tyler then said that Paul then died a month later from bronchitis which had infected the lung that had been grazed by the bullet. During a surgery to reinflate his collapsed lung, Paul had allegedly passed away.

Then Tyler claimed that he and his friend Chris who is apparently suicidal had both checked themselves into a mental hospital to deal with grief and the emotional damage of having shot someone to death. In this hospital, he claims that the two of them had injected vodka into their veins and went into a coma for a few days. The question is, why would a mental hospital let him go if they knew fully well that these boys had self destructive tendencies? The best answer I've been able to come up with is that they never went.

Our Dean of College, at hearing this incredible tale decided to check into the story. What he discovers is that no one by the name (Paul) Tyler gave him had died. And not only that, people who grew up in the same neighbourhood said they saw Paul alive just a week ago.

And what made me realize that Tyler has been lying is the fact that he claims his parents have been relatively oblivious to his lifestyle, oblivious to his friends deaths. As legal guardians especially in the case of Shane's death, his parents would have been called if the boys had gone to the hospital like he said they did. And yet, they apparently do not know. And again, I believe the reason this is so is because it never happened.

And everyday, Tyler drinks from the moment he wakes to the moment he sleeps. Everyday, he blames himself for the two deaths. He believes that he should have died in both circumstances. His self destructive behaviour is a slow form of suicide. The worst part is that he honestly believe these events happened. In fact many people still haven't realized that his stories are lies. He has himself convinced best out of anybody else. His continuation of self destructive behaviours is entirely based on events that never occured.

Anyone have any advice as to what I could do as a friend?


[This message has been edited by heavenhell (edited 01-23-2003).]