always scared my dad is going to die - Mental Health Message Board

Ms Harriet · 10-18-2003, 10:32 PM

hey everyone, i dont know when this really started but i always have this horrible feeling my dad is going to die. it makes me sad when i go to his house to visit him(i just moved out 2 years ago) and im always scared that ill never get to go see him again. i hate the way my brother talks to him my brother is 15 years old so he doesnt really understand. i think it may be something to do with my best friend/cousin's father dying a few years ago.
please help this really makes me sad.

Curtdude · 10-19-2003, 07:31 AM

Super girl unfortuneatlly it is envitable we do die. We start dying when we are born. starting with skin cells. it a way of life and what is. That John Edward dude that contacts people on the other side says somthing like you need to communicate love appreciate people while the are here so you dont need people like him to contact them after they are gone. So go out and appreciate your father while he is here and give him all the time you can. Know him and love him while you have him here, BUT not just him but all your friends and family. All it takes is one incident that can take them away forever.

CD

bookmiser · 10-19-2003, 04:51 PM

hi supergirl,
just read your post and was thinking back to when my daughter was afraid of me dying. her father and i divorced when she was 3. she was very protective of me and i of her. her grandmother died when she was 6 and then she started behaving strange everytime i would leave the house. she is 17 now and has grown out of that stage, but i was just thinking that maybe you feel this way because you moved out and feel guilty about it. everyone leaves home and the relationship they have with the parents have alot to do with how they get along on their own. my son left home when he was 19. he has returned numerous times because of losing his job, breaking up with a girl, ect. we are very close and i feel the reason he's not doing well on his own and needs to come home over and over is because i haven't helped him well enough with the tools he needs to live on his own. the first sign of trouble for him and i'm asking him if he wants to come home. i enable him to not succeed in real life. this is just how i feel, not a diagnosis from my doctor. i really want him to do well, i just feel that he's not ready. how old are you anyway? maybe you should talk this over with your dad and see what he thinks it might be. write again and let us know.

Ms Harriet · 10-19-2003, 11:08 PM

Im 18. I think it may have to do with my best friends dad dying when he was only like 40 from a sudden heart attack. im so scared that my dad is going to go the same way.

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I dont get out of bed for less than 10 thousand dollars a day
-Linda Evangelista

HoosierBj · 10-20-2003, 08:47 AM

I used to be afraid of my Dad dying. But I'm not anymore.

My Dad died in Feb. of 2001, and the amazing thing I learned is just how many parts of my Dad did NOT die.
I still have the love we had, I still have memories of years and years at home & then holidays & father/daughter dinnners & family picnics. I have an instant picture of him in my mind whenever I want.
I have my Mom & brother & sisters to talk to about him.

And best yet, I discovered that whoeever my father is, it is NOT his physical body. Call it his spirit, his soul, his personality, but whatever it is, it is HERE and it is very present.
Whenever a bright red cardinal (his favorite bird) sits on a bush and stares right into my house.
Whenever I find a penny - in my house - in a place I've walked by 5 times that day.
Whenever a single leaf drops from above and lands at my feet.
Whenever I look at his grandchildren's faces and hear them tell Grandmp's funny poems.

Don't get me wrong. I miss my Dad, hate Father's Day, cry at certain movies and think of him more than anyone knows.
It's kind of like having a tooth pulled. There's an empty socket there - and just the very absence of the tooth makes it a strange place - not the same.
You never get over it.
You DO get used to it.

I understand the fear and I applaud you writing in here about it. When I was 14 I started forcing myself to think (little by little) about the fact that both my parents would probably die during my lifetime.
Some people don't think about it at all - they shove it right out of their brain.
I'm glad that you feel the need to talk about it - that it may help you prepare and be strong enough.
And you will be. You'll be JUST strong enough. Guaranteed.