help - Mental Health Message Board

Black-Dove · 10-12-2003, 09:07 PM

Hi everyone. My name is Julia and I'm 19. I've been suffering from anxiety since i was very little. First phobias (thunderstorms, wind, illneses etc.) Then it got very bad the summer before grade 9. I would have these "mental cramps" I call them. It felt like everything just felt so bad and wrong for a second, then it would pass and come back. I didn't know if I was bringing them onj or they were from my anxiety. It was a catch-22, I would think about it so much it would start happening then I'd worry and bring it back. I was afraid there was something horribly wrong with my brain and I was going crazy! It would always happen around when my period was coming. Then i went to a psychologist who put me on 250 mg of luvox. My anxiety was gone and I led a normal life all through high school. Recently, it has come back again. The "mental cramps", the worrying, my mind just going in circles with a hundred different worries about what's wrong with me and what will happen to me and what if it gets so bad I can't take it and my brain just shuts down and i go crazy! I had been drinking alot the past two weeks before this started happening. Just going out and having fun and getting drunk almost every night. And on Friday I just woke up with this again. DO you think it might be the alcohol? I'm okay right now, because I've been taking clonazapam in the mornings. So it is startying to kick in and my mind is pretty clear and worry-free I'm just scared of what tomorrow has to bring... Another thing is that I will worry worry worry and nothing anyone tells me will make me feel better. Then it will be like something just clicks inside my head and I tell myself I will be ok, it's just me doing this to myself and I feel fine. Then I'll start the worries again and it comes in waves like that. I'm scared I might be bi-polar or something. Is this normal with anxiety??
Well, if you've read this far thank you so much for listening. I just need some comfort and advice from people who understand what I'm going through.

Thanks everyone and I'm sending good vibes to all..

HoosierBj · 10-12-2003, 09:29 PM

Keep in mind that we're not doctors, but you don't sound Bipolar to me... and I've had it at least since I was 13.

It sounds like some sort of anxiety disorder to me. While I'm all for help with medications, I'd also add some therapy (the "cognitive" type)to help you learn new pathways to deal with your anxiety.

I don't know alot about anxiety disorders, but I do know that you can be helped both by meds and by finding new ways of dealing with the fears in your head...

Good luck!

[This message has been edited by HoosierBj (edited 10-12-2003).]

Black-Dove · 10-18-2003, 04:33 AM

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your advice. I'm feeling better now, it seems to be fading away more and more each day. Thanks again!

Love, Julia

dolphinmike · 10-18-2003, 11:35 AM

hi julia,
although i am 10 yrs older than you, what we are experiencing sounds similar. i don't really know much about the meds you are on, but i take 450mg of effexor and just started taking seroquil for my anxiety and restlessness, ect. i, like you drink alot too, for several days in a row. my doc tells me not to drink, but i get the felling i'm looking for when i do. i don't worry as much and i'm more relaxed. but, unlike you i haven't felt comfortable goin out that much...in case these feelings get soo bad that i can't handle them. sound familiar? they pass, but some attacks are way too overwhelming, so i prefer to stay home most nights now, until i get usec to the meds. everything will get better, but i'm finding out that it's just not happening as fast as i expected or wanted to. bye!
mike

Black-Dove · 10-22-2003, 04:53 PM

Hey Mike,
Thanks for the reply. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I get scared when I'm out and my anxiety hits me hard. All I want to do is go straight home and sleep. It passed for a few days, yesterday I felt like my old self again. Then today it hit again out of nowhere. I know my fear is irrational and that I obviously control my thinking and am doing this to myself in part, but when the anxiety comes, nothing makes sense and I know that I'm going to go crazy. I wish yu the best, I do know that it gets better, you just have to give it time