Unreality, or is it? - Mental Health Message Board

justthinkin999 · 10-27-2003, 07:51 AM

I have being reading some posts of "unreality" recently. However, my thought pattern seem similiar in some ways, but in other very different. Let me give an example...

While sitting by a camp fire, looking over at others and thinking,... "Why, why do they want to keep living. How has life convinced them it must be lived. Do they just choose to ignore that all they are is just a bunch of nerves, a blood and oxygen/bioelectrical machine. It all seems so pointless, so meaningless. Just a perpetual cycle of life,...why is it anyone craves to keep doing anything?...etc etc."

The thoughts seem to come in waves overpowering with questions. Usually right when I'm enjoying something. Like when recently meeting a girl. I remember thinking, "wow, she has beautiful eyes...why, why do you care about her eyes. They are just a bunch of cells, light reflecting off of them. That's just a rush of endorphins you're "feeling" ...so pointless... what is your happiness but just merely bio-energy flows in your body. Why do you care about it at all. All the feeling you have for this girl are merely just wishes of your body to procreate,... why did you ever think this is so important, why do anyone?"

I just want to say, "shutup, I like her eyes okay!" I relate it to having a really synical friend there at all times. And it can be very strong, and make it very difficult to enjoy the situation, because it belittle the feeling of enjoyment at the root.

...Just a quick bio of me...I'm 26, exercise regulary, run, yoga. I meditate. I take Zoloft. I see a pyschologist. So, I take a lot of care to treat my emotional/physical well-being. I have a great job. I'm respected for my talents. I have a lot to be thankful for and just wish I could convince my brain of that

.

Well, thanks for listening.
-T

rainonwindow · 10-27-2003, 08:13 PM

My guess would be that you are very bright and in general like to understand the 'why' of things. It may acturally be a little easier if you give your mind 'permission' to think that way. A little acceptance might help. I have found that 'battling' my thoughts is a 'good' way to perpetuate a difficulty.

It is possible to think that eyes are just a bunch of cell with light reflecting off of them and still find the eyes beautiful.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't label it as cynical - just a natural curiosity. That might help take the emotional charge and self-criticism off of it and help this whole thing to diminish a little.

I don't find what you have written to be cynical - just the potentially annoying musings of a very bright mind that is busily annoying itself.

HoosierBj · 10-28-2003, 06:35 AM

I agree with RainOnWindow...

You sound like someone with the Soul of a Philosopher.

There are alot of fascinating books out there that carry on thoughts such as the ones that you have begun.
Also, if you don't have any close friends who like to have interesting discussions like this, I'm sure there must be some message boards or chat rooms that are dedicated to exploring the inner & outer worlds to the nth degree...

You sound like a neat person! Don't go messing with yourself too much!!

justthinkin999 · 10-28-2003, 06:41 AM

First off, thanks. Very very kind replies. Secondly, are there any books that you would recommend?

HoosierBj · 10-28-2003, 08:04 AM

You sound like you have a broad range of perception...

I honestly can't seem to pluck a title of my head that would really epitomize your line of thought.
If you like to read you could sure start and branch out as certain types of philosophy/beliefs became more interesting than others.

I'm truthfully more of a "yakker" than a reader about such things. The 70's and the Coffee Shops were tailor made for deep heavy discussions. We used to stay up drinking gallons of black coffee discussing the type of subjects that you mention in your first post!
You put a nostalgic smile on my face for sure!!