scared and feeling alone - Mental Health Message Board

ebonyrose · 10-02-2003, 04:52 AM

hi it me again, for those of you who dont know me my name is ebony and i am 17. i have many mental disorders such as phycosis, manic depression, suicidal tendances etc.
well the reason i am posting this is because yesturday i went to my phyciatrist and i was told i have to go into hospital because my phycosis is getting outta hand and i cannot tell the difference between reality and what my phycosis sees and hears. this is very destressing for me as i am now being called a freak coz i talk to invisible stuff, things i trully believe are there.
the voices are getting to much to take and i obey whatever they tell me to do at the moment it is to hurt my self, as a result i am once again covered in cuts and scars, i used to always self harm but not to the extent i am now.
i guess the reason i am postin this is just to get it out my system and maybe just for someone to talk to. i am so scared and confused. why am i being put through this what have i done that is so wrong?
thanx in advance for reading this.
ebony

[This message has been edited by ebonyrose (edited 10-02-2003).]

Dani_nmh · 10-02-2003, 05:08 AM

I am so sorry you have to go through all this - I am goign through different stuff and think the same thing . What did i do wrong for this to happen to me. YOu are not a freak. Im not mega religeous but i do believe in things happening for a reason - and that you are learning and maybe helping others in ways you dont even know. Maybe you'll get through all this and start some big organisation - or write a book and help millions on people. We are young - and it sux to be going through all this - but i think we should decide what purpose all this has.. I mean - life is only about learning and teaching - whether that be emotions - academics - etc etc. It seems to help if you make up an answer to the 'why me' question. example - Im going to write a book - or people around me are going to learn to appreciate everything a lot more and be more patient etc etc - b/c of me. Anyways - I hope that all made sense. If you need to talk - just post more and ill reply the best I know how. Take care hun - Daniella

Redo71 · 10-02-2003, 07:11 AM

Hospitalization never really will help, they need to find an antipsycotic that works and keep you on it. This is like my aunt who has psycosis that cycles, if she goes off her meds it comes back strong, but she goes through periods of worse psycosis then others.
As for me I can handle it, im not that bad yet, but im sure itll happen one of these days. It would be good to get treatment so you can trust yourself to function normally.
I hope you get through this all, mental illnesses are the hardest thing to deal with, but there are many people who have gone through this and are going through it.

remoc · 10-02-2003, 04:29 PM

hello

notavetyet · 10-02-2003, 06:35 PM

I think that it is in your best interest to go into the hospital. I agree that an antipsychotic is the only thing that will help you with your psychosis. I want you to get help and make sure that you tell someone if you feel like hurting yourself. also may i recommend that if you experience adverse effects you tell the Dr. so that he can prescribe you something else. I hope all goes well with you. Be hopeful you will get the right medication and you will return to baseline soon.

MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU.