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Old 12-18-2009, 02:45 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: montreal,
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vain HB User
Had a mixed episode,therapist refused to believe I am bipolar, Thinks I'm Depressive

I am a 19 year old girl whom no one would expect to have such complicated problems.

In early March to early June I had a mixed episode consisting of mania and depression.Though at the time I did not know what bipolar was.
I was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode full of anxiety,rage,energy,sadness,need for sex but mostly dangerous rage and most nights or days there would be crying spells. Looking back I realised it was like temporary insanity.
I remember my friends asking me 'what the hell is wrong,why are you crying?'
I had no answer,I was crying with a deep sadness and such anger and I had no idea why.
I slept 1-2 hours a night.

I had paranoia where I thought a guy in the bus was out to get me,or I thought there was someone in my closets.I had deep obsessions with people and things that could have been so obsessive that they bordered delusional.

Now I spoke to a therapist who refused to aknowledge this as a mixed state and diagnosed me with majore depressive episode,ocd,borderline personality disorder and a few other disorders that dont sound like me at all!She seemed to dianose my with personality disorders based on a few questions?
In november I had a depressive episode that felt different from my mixed one,i overselpt,overate and did not leave the house,my meltdown ended with me trying to overdose and the next day I was fine like nothing happened and went back to my regular self..I feel my depressive and mixed episode were so different ,I feel misdiagnosed!
What should I do

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Old 12-18-2009, 04:35 PM   #2
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cerajoan HB Usercerajoan HB User
Re: Had a mixed episode,therapist refused to believe I am bipolarThinks I'm Depressiv

Have you talked to the doctor about your thoughts on this? If so and the person is not listening to you, find another doctor! Trust yourself. You are the ultimate expert on you. And you are employing your doctor, not the other way around. We are vulnerable with medical professionals because, by definition, we're sick and they're not. It is wonderful to find someone who works for you. Only you can decide who that is. Believe your experience.

Old 12-18-2009, 07:15 PM   #3
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Re: Had a mixed episode,therapist refused to believe I am bipolarThinks I'm Depressiv

Hey, thanks for posting.

I'm sorry to hear you've experienced all those terrible things. Its not often that one admits all that. Hopefully you can figure out how to help yourself; because you most definitely require some therapy. You've got to find someone who will listen and care for you.

As far as diagnosis goes - it doesn't matter what you tell us on here. Only YOU know what you told your doctor / therapist... Remember; all the therapist bases a diagnosis upon; is what YOU (the patient) shares with them. Everything you say - is all they have to judge you by. And ALSO; by how you act in their office. Whether you're nervous, anxious - looking around alot - speaking fast, slow, etc... Everything to them - is a sign towards the diagnosis they give to you.

What I'm trying to tell you, is; be completely honest - about everything you tell to a therapist. (That is - IF you can trust them)

As far as the therapist thinking you have depression rather than bipolar; thats completely dependant on your situations / circumstances; and how you went about dealing with them. Do NOT - take it as an insult or anything of the sort - IF; for whatever reason(s) - their diagnosis does not line up with what you expected yourself to have. The worst thing you could do - is self-diagnose. Especially before entering a therapists office for the first time. You NEED, "OBJECTIVITY," so go in there - state the facts; and that is all... IF there is a reason why you shouldn't trust that therapist - stop seeing them... Otherwise; go and get a second opinion. Lots of people do - its actually quite common. And no therapist who understands the field that their in - would ever blame you for doing so. Afterall... It IS, YOUR - life; that they are dealing with.

Anyways, to get back to the point. I believe that YES; you've been depressed. However - I'm basing that off what you have told me. And all that I know about you - is what you've mentioned in your little post above...

SO - do us all a favor; and tell us more about yourself. Tell us the history - AS IS... Don't tell us in terms of relating it to bipolar. Trust people's opinions - know that they only go so far as to the limitations of the knowledge (that derives from psychiatry) that which lies within the DSM - IV... (Diagnostic Statistical Manual) It doesn't matter what people might think deep down; they all go by the same rules and regulations of that one book. Unfortunately - for some - it blinds doctors from seeing what the real problem is. They only care for what you bring to them; on the surface... Meaning - they base their judgments ONLY - on what is shared with them, and by what they SEE... And anyone whose human knows - that, "PAIN," runs deeper than the surface of our skin - or the terrible pasts that we all acquire after living life on earth for only a short period of time.

Do yourself a favor... Realize that you DO have mental issues, its only a matter of time before you get the correct diagnosis... BUT - YOU; need to concentrate on getting better. It's the doctors JOB - and duty; to concentrate on your symptoms and try the best method of tackling them - in order to aid your desperate attempt to maintain a healthy balance in your everyday lifestyle.

Hope that helps.


Old 12-18-2009, 09:01 PM   #4
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vain HB User
Re: Had a mixed episode,therapist refused to believe I am bipolar, Thinks I'm Depress

Thanks for the replies!

you also think I was just depressed.
Somehow hearing this annoys me because I'm so convinced that my depression wasen't a normal one and I felt somehow like I was rushing,I was out of control.Also depression gives you no interest in sex while I was super hyped like an animal about sex in this episode,which is uncharacteristic of me.It seems that around every March-April-May for the past three years my cycle has been prominant with insomia and irritability to the point where I once kicked a schoolmate in the back and down the stairs in a fit of rage in high school.During a meltdown or episode I can't control myself ,but I never would have noticed I had mental health issues until this mixed episode.

I would also like to say that almost overnight my mixed 'cycle' vanished into hypomamia where the crying and anger stopped and I managed to get two jobs and get back on track.
My latest depressive episode was not drug induced though.

BUT I will get a second opinion

Last edited by Administrator; 09-01-2013 at 05:41 PM.

Old 12-18-2009, 10:01 PM   #5
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Wise52 HB User
Re: Had a mixed episode,therapist refused to believe I am bipolar, Thinks I'm Depress

You sound bipolar to me--depression feeling suicidal, crying, no energy. Mania being going days without sleep, racing thoughts. Rapid cycling is going quickly, say hour to hour or day to day from mania to depression and back again. You also have anger issues, which are important to deal with or you could get yourself into worse trouble. Please try to find a good psychiatrist (because they administer medication) and someone who you can talk to (a psychologist). Be as open and honest with them as possible since they are supposed to be non-judgmental. If you don't feel comfortable with these people, find others. I have a warm and trusting relationship with both my doctors; I am bipolar, mostly depressive, but have some mania which isn't very severe. People who suffer from depression or bipolar are misunderstood by those who haven't experienced it personally. Keep trying and good luck!

Old 12-19-2009, 01:59 AM   #6
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8800GTS HB User
Re: Had a mixed episode,therapist refused to believe I am bipolar, Thinks I'm Depress

Vain - what I meant was; it doesn't matter what your diagnosis is. I will not tell you what, "I," think you have - because its irrelevant. Anything that you've written down - is YES; relatable to bipolar disorder... HOWEVER - its still not the same as going into a psychiatrist's office and telling them how you FEEL...

All I'm saying is - this is YOUR life - you deserve objectivity. I don't want to take away from that objectivity - because quite literally; SOME people - will take anonymous advice, (From online forums) more seriously - than from a trained psychiatrist whom has spent a decade of their life in school; studying these kinds of things.

Just keep in mind - it isn't the diagnosis that helps us... Its the insight into our, "SYMPTOMS," that starts to help us. Getting over denial is the first step to recovery... First you gotta know what issues you're having - next you gotta get help - you gotta accept help - and you gotta stay consistent with treatments. And trust that your getting the help you need - and somehow maintain a positive forward march through a tyraid of rollercoaster rides - to an ultimate peace in mind... (THAT is a cure; in terms of mental illness) To have peace of mind...

Think of it this way... All of the steps that take place after you tell the psychiatrist your symptoms - will have been in, "VAIN," if you decide to tell them something that is false. I'm not saying that you plan on intentionally lying / manipulating your symptoms... I'm just saying - that even a slight misinterpretation / slip up - can cause your treatments to differ in many ways. All these illnesses - have different names... But if you look closely at the symptoms they are built upon - they are SO similar... That one accidental slip - up of words; can lead to drastic differences in treatments...

So basically - get things right the first time. You want objectivity - so that you can get a much smoother roller coaster ride... Unless - OF COURSE - you like to take risky rides.

I wish you all the best on your search for answers.


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