| | spacing out
I've been expirencing a series of odd things over the last while. I don't know quite how long its been going on, since the pieces only started coming together over the last couple days.
I will randomly start to feel as if I am fading out of my body. I am aware of what I am doing, but it doesn't feel as I'm causing it. It feels more like I'm thinking about what's being done more than I'm doing what I think about. I also feel sometimes as if I'm not in my body. One time I was sitting and when I looked at my legs I had a stange thought that if I moved, those legs would stay there, because they weren't mine. When I did stand up and my legs moved, it scared me a little bit because it still wasn't registering that they were my legs. Another time I was lying on my side with my arm in such a position that I could see my hand, and I thought it wasn't my hand. I was actually trying to figure out who it could belong to.
I've also noticed a couple odd changes in my behaviour. I am aware that I need to do things, and will even create lists of what I need to do, but it never seems to really sink in. Its not even so much procrastinating, as I just don't seem to realize that I'm not accomplishing anything. I also have no idea of where the time is going, because I can't seem to account for it afterward.
I have, for quite a long time, randomly heard what sounds like people yelling. It's sort of like when you're trying to remember what was said at a certain point in time, and you then hear it in your head, but in this case it's at least two people fighting. It happens without warning and always causes a brief rush of panic. my only explanation ever for it is that it's some kind of mild flashback.
The only other thing is that lately I've been becoming more and more insecure. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be the person making decisions or expressing opinions, I've even found myself being afraid of the dark.
I don't know if all of these things are connected. I was hoping that if someone notices a relation or pattern they could tell me.