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-   -   Significant Other Raped at 7(Please Read and Reply) (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/mental-health/745435-significant-other-raped-7-please-read-reply.html)

JamieL2011 04-20-2010 07:33 PM

Significant Other Raped at 7(Please Read and Reply)
 
Hi I'm new to the board, just joined. The reason I joined is because of my boyfriend.

We've been together for a year and it's hard because he doesn't really open up and last night he was on the verge of tears while we were talking.

At 7 he was raped by a older child, also a boy only 8. I've tried looking up boys raping boys but haven't found anything.

They were in his parents room and the older child asked him to play a game with him, giving oral sex, and my boyfriend said no. The older boy beat him and made him do it anyway. He told him not to tell anyone and my boyfriend didn't. The assualts kept happening four days a week that entire summer and each time he tried to fight back the older child forced him to perform anal sex.

The older child was staying at his parents house while his mother worked and his grandparents watched the two of them. They normally played in his room in the back of the house.

The assualts stopped when my boyfriend's older cousin moved in and taught him how to fight back, the older child also bullied him in school.

For the last 14 years he's kept all this bottled up inside, relationships gone bad. He's put up with gay rumors because he hasn't had sex.

During those 14 years he thought and still thinks he has HIV, hasn't really been sick until lately and only lost weight when he went on a diet.

He's had blood work done twice in the last two years and a spinal tap. The first time his White Blood Cells were low but after his follow up he was told they were back to normal. He recently went to see a blood specialist and he told him he had a case of neurotropenia and that he didn't think it was anything.

joggen 04-20-2010 08:53 PM

Re: Significant Other Raped at 7(Please Read and Reply)
 
I would think that the chance that an 8 year old would have HIV is effectively zero. And if he were infected 14 years ago, he would be dead be now. Still, the obvious answer to his situation is to have an HIV test. He needs to test to move on from this.

blokecalledkev 04-21-2010 02:19 PM

Re: Significant Other Raped at 7(Please Read and Reply)
 
Hi there,

There is something particularly loathsome about bullies and this must have been an awful thing to have to carry around for 14 years. It needs to be stressed that your boyfriend is the victim here, he really needs to stop beating himself up and feeling any sort of guilt over something he had no control over.

Guilt can really play havoc with people and how they perceive themselfs. Please, I would advice you, if possible to, get your boyfriend to talk more about this and maybe even seek professional help. Of course this is up to yourself and how comfortable you feel with it. I cannot begin to imagine how painful this be for your boyfriend, years of guilt and shame for something he no control over. I guess the road to recovery from this may be a long one but every journay as to start with small steps.

As for HIV, it is very unlikely he will have been infected 14 years ago and it not been noticed. If he as any concerns on this front, then a blood test is the answer. A blood test will determine his status and allow him to move on, from what you have posted it is very likely to be negative.

This dreadful set of events have clearly had a terrible effect on your mans life, I hope he finds the strength and you have the strength to help him put it all behind him.

Take care, regards Kevin.

JamieL2011 04-22-2010 05:08 PM

Re: Significant Other Raped at 7(Please Read and Reply)
 
Thank you for the replies. Getting through to him is kind of hard. I took the advice and I'm trying to help him by letting him talk.

I pulled up picures of HIV rash and asked him did he have anything like that on his body ever, and the answer was no.

The low wbc is scaring him, but he did say something that has me a little worried. He did say he remembered his urine burned one day some time after, but that was the only time he's ever had it happen. Other than that he says he's been healthy except the 2 fevers he had 1 in oct 08 and this past march, though he's still got a cough that pops up daily but not often and isn't as strong as it was when he was sick.

Both of you said that symptoms would have popped up by now and one of you said he'd be dead. Can you explain?

blokecalledkev 04-22-2010 07:40 PM

Re: Significant Other Raped at 7(Please Read and Reply)
 
Hi there,

The simple answer is because if HIV is not detected and left untreated it brings on the onset of AID's. HIV does not kill but unfortunately AID’s does. If left untreated AID’s can develop after about ten years, sometimes less. It is extremely unlikely that 14 years ago your man was infected with HIV as he would be, if not dead now, very seriously ill because he as received no treatment. This is the reason why early detection of HIV is so crucial, to get people on the correct medication as soon as possible and stop the onset of AID’s.

Please I would advice you and your boyfriend to not dwell on this aspect of this dreadful issue. It is almost certain that he was not infected so long ago and it gone unnoticed. To put yours and his mind at ease, a simple blood test can be taken; it will almost certainly be negative. Also take my advice on this; please don't try to diagnose through Google, there is only one way to determine somebody’s HIV status, a blood test. There is absolutely no reason at all to suggest that your boyfriends result would be anything but negative.

Take care, regards Kevin.


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