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Old 07-29-2010, 09:32 PM   #1
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Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

Hey everyone. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Can it be cured or can it ever just go away?

 
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Old 07-30-2010, 10:00 AM   #2
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

It can...with a ton of hard work and over a fairly long period of time.....years.

Some people will say it can't because it is your personality and our personalities are set by around age 6 and it's what we are saddled with for life. I was BPD as a result of severe abuse that was repressed so I didn't even know i was abused until I was in my 30's.

But my behavior and depressions ended me up in residential psychiatric treatment for about 2 1/2 years where they worked hard to change my behavior and personality. Mind you, it would have been a lot easier if they'd known why I was that way. The connections between BPD and child abuse had not yet been made.

But once I did know and I understood where my personality came from and why, I started to work on changing me. The work is hard. You have to stop lying to yourself and be brutally honest with yourself about yourself. I've changed a lot. I am no where near the person I used to be but I can slip back into it very easily so it has to worked on everyday.

I am still in therapy and still trying to change. I did take many years off from therapy as I didn't have the insurance to keep it up but it gave me a chance to try to do it myself. I gained self-respect from the changes I was able to make by myself.

I don't consider myself to be a borderline anymore. What my therapist thinks, I'm not sure but I don't think he considers me one either. I started therapy at 14 and in 2 weeks, I'll be 59. As I said, it takes a lot of work for a long, long time. At least now they know a lot more about it and how to treat it. It was just being developed as a diagnosis when I was in the hospital. I started as a schizophrenic and the a borderline psychotic and then borderline personality disorder. They told it was good news as borderlines tend to "mellow out" as they get into their 40's. I wasn't waiting.

It's hard to change what you are hardwired to be but you can.

good luck and gentle hugs............Jenny

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Old 08-01-2010, 07:15 PM   #3
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You can find answers for yourself

Hey, very good post.

It's a question that comes up more than once; Whether or not Borderline Personality Disorder can be cured or just pushed away... It's a daily thing - one day you'll feel okay and the next you wont. Just like was said above, "it takes a long time and alot of getting to know yourself," before any real hopes of making stable foundations for yourself through the storm - could ever become as helpful as you'd like. It's a matter of respecting yourself for WHO you are - accepting that things aren't going to get any better if you YOURSELF - do not want the change you're searching for. And coming to terms with yourself as a person, with your own unique personality, which was unfortunately - shaped and hardwired into your brain throughout your young years of life. Simply by accepting that you are stuck with being you - and no one else can change it BUT you - will most likely push aside any internalized subconscious guilt or denial - for ever having validated thoughts and feelings. You are a person - you have a reason to feel threatened today because you have felt threatened in the past. And even though it may seem like you are all alone - you are not.

Truth is - it CAN be done. It CAN be managed, Borderline Personality Disorder is becoming a very common mental illness. In FACT; it is said that the majority of people in hospitals (Not to say that Borderline is any more or less harsh than the rest, nor that it can't be cured or positively alleviated) have borderline personality disorder... It IS a global pandemic... Wonder why? Study psychology of human nature - the trends that seem to come and go as different era's make history what it is - A CYCLE - of the same humanistic models of behavior - seperated by TIME. (We are all making the same mistakes over and over again - BECAUSE - we are human) "History repeats itself." And coming to accept the fact that with mistakes and pain - comes great compassion; we can then use it to help ourselves and others in similarly dark places.

Personally; after about 5 years of seeing psychiatrists and psychologists - I have come to the acceptance of Borderline Personality Disorder as my actual diagnosis. I fit the description perfectly. It wasn't so hard to accept that I had it - so much as it was to read about it in therapeutic magazines and books... It seems like there is alot of theories and concepts that therapists can and do perform while in the process of working with Borderline patients... One that really strikes my eye; AND - has seemed to help - is DBT. (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)

I'll be brutally honest with ya, Borderline isn't easy as I'm sure everyone knows. Even therapists whom sit and watch their patients in pain all the time - feel somewhat baffled and lost in their apparent emotional rollercoaster rides. Problem with therapists nowadays is - they are following models and strategies for treating Borderline patients, created through collections of trial and error insights - from past experiences in the psychiatric field from dealing with Borderline patients. Which - to be honest - is simply; unnacceptable. Its sad to think that people who are in pain are being psycho-analyzed right from the start; when all they really need is love. That is all... Love for themselves, love from others - good support systems, and sense of purpose and of direction - ALL THE WHILE - knowing and trusting with deeply witheld comfort - that their therapists are truly, genuinely supportive and accepting of their every move through life. Not that they're paid to care, but that - they DO care.

Personally, I think Borderline patients, myself included; NEED to know that someone cares. If I had a therapist whom had Borderline Personality Disorder; I know for a FACT - that it would make all the world of difference in creating the sense of, "connectedness," that I always seek. The sense of connection that at times, comes and goes - influencing my every emotion and behavioral response - and is marked with extreme bursts of emotional dysregulation when the sense of loneliness and abandonement overpowers the sense of connectedness... It almost seems, "elusive," this sense of connection I desire. It seems like everytime I get it - I try to hold onto it so hard that I ironically loose it amongst all my fears and desperate attempts to keep hold of it...

Learning to, "re-wire and reprogram," your brain IS possible... One thing I needed to learn - was to accept that in order to move forward, I HAD to force myself to get up and do things differently... So I started to journal - and through journaling I caught myself thinking in ways that would otherwise seem NEGATIVE to someone else reading it. As soon as I gained awareness in my own tendencies to focus on the negative; I saw the importance and the NEED for change in my life - if I would ever / could ever hope for a life worth living. And so - I started to write everyday, started to exercise, eat better, learned to face my fears one step at a time... All the while - showing myself alot of compassion when faced with fears and coming to react in extremely emotional ways; knowing deep down that the only way to ever get better is to learn to live through it. Trying hard to intellectually remind myself; that the current states of extreme emotionality will pass - and that my emotions are simply part of who I am. To become a, "MASTER," of myself - to know myself so well that I CAN get through anything - even though I may react more strongly to simple roadblocks and obstacles - as compared to the majority of other people that seem to function so much better in life.

One thing that really helped me, and still IS helping me, (By no means and I able to say I'm cured, because I know for a fact that I will not be cured, I will just learn to SURVIVE) is to remember that if I sit long enough in an uncomfortable place, with uncomfortable emotions; I'll learn to survive through it. And if there's one thing that Borderline Personality Disorder sucks from the lives of those whom are inflicted with it - it is the ability to maintain a foundation from, "Within," without having to rely on others - whether that be friends, family, drugs, addictions or - simply sleeping through everything in an attempt to avoid impending fears...

Anyway, I'm rambling. All in all - you can do it. You can feel better, just remember you ARE NOT alone - there are thousands of people with this disorder. If you cannot find answers for yourself - join the large population of therapists and other mental health professionals in trying to discover new methods of connecting with Borderline patients with the HEART - rather than the MIND.

Thanks,
8800gts

 
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Old 08-02-2010, 07:16 AM   #4
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

Hi Girl,

No, it can not just go away. You need help for it, and mostly, you need to understand it. If you can, get your loved ones educated, as they need help as much as you do.

Find something like "Borderline for Dummies" and let everyone read it. Do NOT feel that there is a stigma to this condition. If you get some professional help, speak to the people you share your life with, realize that some days are gonna be " not so good", and most of all, if you can have some trust in yourself, you will only improve.

Who diagnosed you? And what do you know about it so far?

 
Old 08-02-2010, 08:49 AM   #5
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

no it won't go away on it's own, it's not like you can ignore it and it will go away. It can be managed if you educate yourself and learn about it

 
Old 08-05-2010, 08:26 PM   #6
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

BPD is the rollercoaster of all rollercoasters. Just hang in there and it'll be fine. Make sure you don't make any large decisions when you're emotional. Simply try to ground yourself and remember that people DO love you, that people ARE there for you - even if and when it may seem opposite.


Hang in there, enjoy the rollercoaster ride while it lasts.

Thanks,
8800gts

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Old 08-07-2010, 01:11 PM   #7
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The second mom View Post
Find something like "Borderline for Dummies" and let everyone read it. Do NOT feel that there is a stigma to this condition. If you get some professional help, speak to the people you share your life with, realize that some days are gonna be " not so good", and most of all, if you can have some trust in yourself, you will only improve.
I've actually started reading that as my therapist suggested that I had Borderline tendencies but not to an extreme, and that I should read it simply to get a better insight on it. So far, I can see some similarities but mostly this is an extreme and I'm not identifying too much with it, but it is somewhat helpful, at least to understand some of my emotions.

 
Old 08-08-2010, 01:06 AM   #8
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

Hey, it's a good sign if the BPD is not extreme. If you can recognize and know the trends, you can manage it. As I said, get your family to read as well as they are key to the management of BPD. You can truely have a normal life. If ever you need to talk, feel free to call on me. I have a daughter with BPD and can give you advise if you need from an outsider point of view. Hang in there.

 
Old 08-11-2010, 03:28 PM   #9
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

Very true, the importance of your family's support through Borderline, "rollercoaster rides," is essential in helping to determine a positive outcome for your illness... Good advice Second Mom

If my Mom was there for me the same way anonymous people on this forum were, and just as supportive as my very own therapist - I think my symptoms would go into remission. If only she would have the same kind of unconditional loving kindness, that so many compassionate people have nowadays - I could once again return to my own skin and begin to live life the way its meant to be lived.

I hope that anyone with Borderline has the support from their family members. If not, just realize that they are confused too - and sometimes it takes a negative event to shift their perspective alittle - in order to understand more clearly; what it is that you're experiencing... Unfortunately words aren't often good enough to describe the pain I feel, so I resort to creativity.

Over a long time, alot of battles and many fights with my parents - they seem to have come to a compassionate stance; taking my issues one day at a time. That is the way any parent figure should be - unconditional love. Isn't that what seperates family from aquaintences?? The timeless love that exceeds any situation or circumstance, no matter how terrible it may be. To know - for certain - that no matter how high or low you are; that family member is always going to remain right where they should be. Perhaps this is why so many people with Borderline fear abandonement; they simply wish to know someone whose capable to sticking to them like glue whenever they're past comes back to haunt them.

Sometimes, I wish someone would come and prove me wrong about my beliefs surrounding everyone eventually abandoning me... If only, one person would walk, "towards," me - even if and when they have every right reason to walk, "away," from me... It still - would come as a, "miracle," in the sense that I CAN trust people.

Thanks,
8800gts

 
Old 08-23-2010, 04:56 PM   #10
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

I was diagnosed with BPD many years ago. Until only recently doctors have said it can only be "managed." However, there are new treatments, particularly one called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. It was especially designed for people with BPD and involves group therapy with other borderlines. Also, there's been at least one study where patients were seen for BPD twice a week for a year and afterwards a number of them didn't have enough of the "symptoms" to still receive this label. Are you familiar with the DSM, the "bible" mental health people use for diagnosis?

My former psychiatrist was an elderly man, who scoffed at the idea that I could no longer have BPD. However, since then my new psychiatrist (I have been seeing her for about two years now) and two therapists have said that they can detect no BPD problems in me. I believe I am "cured." However, I do need to say that I was always a "high-functioning borderline." Plus, I intentionally had three years of therapy for BPD and went through two stints of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I'm not saying, then, that it's easy, but I do believe that this diagnosis can be overcome. Best wishes to all of you who are wondering about this tough problem. You learned your "borderline personality" because that's how you had to function to survive. It's a matter, I think, of re-learning about people and how to approach life. Also, there is some evidence that BPD can begin to fade out some as people get older--into middle age or so. Maybe that's partly their learning over time what works and what isn't working in their lives....

 
Old 08-27-2010, 10:18 PM   #11
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

Borderline can be treated to the point where it is no longer a constant burden. It is not easy but it can be done. It involves a high level of self awareness and forcing yourself to really look at what you are doing and what you are saying then realizing if the action is to serve the created BPD self image or it is appropriate for the situation. Recovering from BPD is basically going back to the beginning and starting over again by relearning emotions that were bypassed due to safety reasons. My childhood was spent playing the role of the perfect child so when I should have been learning the basics I adopted a created self that would keep me safe. Now I have gone through the struggle of learning everything over and simplest example would be for years I though and believed that when someone did something nice for me my brain would try to figure out the angle trying to figure out what they wanted and now I realize people do nice things for people they care about. It is a major mind switch but it can be done.
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Old 03-01-2011, 01:45 AM   #12
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

I was diagnosed as BPD and I went through DBT. After the DBT I really didn't have any problems. I no longer meet the criteria for BPD, and haven't for many years. I'm really not the same person at all anymore.

My therapist told me to stop seeing her as it was no longer necessary, and I find I don't even have to try and use any "skills" at all anymore. Life seems to come naturally and resolve itself, as opposed to continually being in crisis. The BPD has been taken off my medical file, (In the sense it no longer applies.) so I suppose you could say I have been cured. (I also had several DBT coaches tell me I was now cured.)

I was the only person in that program that went through DBT and never came back again. I think that in rare cases BPD can be cured, and resolved, to never come back again, but I think most of the time it's on ongoing process and trying to remember and use the skills they teach you. I think most of the time it's symptom management as opposed to being "cured." I was fairly young when I went into DBT so that probably helped me be one of the lucky ones.

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Old 03-01-2011, 07:18 PM   #13
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

BPD has been reported to get significantly better as a person ages. A lot of people have very few problems with BPD when they get into their 30's and 40's and had much worse problems in their teens and 20's.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 07:27 PM   #14
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re: Can my Borderline Personality Disorder be cured or just go away?

Quote:
Originally Posted by digmusic View Post
BPD has been reported to get significantly better as a person ages. A lot of people have very few problems with BPD when they get into their 30's and 40's and had much worse problems in their teens and 20's.

That is actually very true as people generally gain life coping skills as they experience life. Anything is possible and just because the stats say one thing doesn't mean it applies to everyone. With hard work and dedication anything is possible. At least BPD does have recovery rates and isn't always a permanent thing.

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