I was at my counseling session today, and we were talking about stuff, and about how I have a lot of ups and downs, and while they were there before I was on medication, all the SSRIs I've recently been on have greatly exacerbated this...and we were talking about this week and how I was all go-go-go, not sleeping but not tired, irritable etc...until last night when I quick-flipped and crashed. And my counselor also mentioned how after the last time we met she had been thinking about things...and she thinks that I may be bipolar.
At first I was kind of like, yeah, whatever...but now that I've had some time for it to sink in, I'm honestly pretty upset. I know that I have no real reason to be upset...bipolar doesn't equal crazy, I'm already in therapy, and have been on meds...but bipolar is much more severe than my previous diagnoses of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and OCD. I think part of the reason I'm so upset is that I don't want to tell my parents. I know that they'll brush it off, say it couldn't possibly be true and that I'm overreacting. This will lead to a fight, and I'm in no mood for that at all right now.
It's interesting too though, because my friend said to me not too long ago that he thinks I'm bipolar (apparently he's noticed my mood swings...but he is bipolar himself, so it might be something that he's more in tune with than most)...when he said that, I didn't care and was just like, okay, whatever...but now that a professional has said the same thing, I;m thinking that maybe there's truth in it.
I have an appointment with a psychiatrist scheduled for April 15th which is pretty far away, and actually, was only to try and get sorted out some meds for my anxiety...but now I guess there's this to talk about as well. I'm not sure if I should try and find someone who I could see sooner though. It would obviously be good, but the guy I have an appointment with is very highly recommended by everyone at my school, and by my friend (he's the one who gave me the name and number in the first place actually)...
My counselor just emailed me about an hour ago with the name of another psychiatrist in the area who apparently doesn't have a long wait period (~2 weeks) and his info, so I might try and get in with him because the sooner I get this figured out, the better...but I really do want to see the pdoc that my friend suggested and I have an appointment with because he's well known in the area and highly recommended..
I'm sorry that you are going through so much, I know how much this all sucks.
It sounds like your parents aren't very supportive, is there a reason for this? Having BP is not the end of the world, but you will have to learn coping skills, and perhaps take meds to keep your life as normal and stable as possible. Finding a good pdoc is key also, one that you trust and feel comfortable with is very important. I wish you luck and hope that you find the pdoc your lookig for soon. There are great people on this board who are around to talk when you need to.
Last edited by Administrator; 03-19-2011 at 09:40 PM.
Reason: do not ask personal questions
My parents just aren't very supportive when there's no "reason" or "justification" such as a traumatic event that accounts for being depressed or whatever...
I feel confident about the pdoc who I have an appointment with on April 15 because I've heard so many good things about him, but I'm not sure about waiting that long...so I think I'm gonna contact the other guy and see if I can get in there any sooner.
If you feel more confidence in the doctor who will see you on April 15th, maybe you should try to hold out for that one. I've had maybe 6 or 7 pdocs in my life and some haven't been so great. I hope you find one that you are comfortable with. - Jan
I do feel confident about the one who I have an appointment with on the 15th because I've heard so many really good things about him. However, I'm really not sure how long I can wait, especially since I'm not currently on meds except Xanax as needed, and I'm not exactly doing well...at all.
I called the other psychiatrist's office, and was told the wait to see him or an associate would be 3 or 4 weeks which doesn't get me in any sooner than the appointment I already have, so I thanked them, and that was that.
I think my mood is much more "normal" now...after feeling quite depressed for just over a week. I mean, I still have little desire to do much, and kind of just wanna lie in bed and sleep all day...but yesterday I became more social after avoiding almost everyone for two days, and showering seemed like much less of a chore.
In all honesty though, I want to go back "up" because I'm so much more productive during those periods of time!