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Old 11-08-2011, 02:44 AM   #1
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I love and Hate my mom

Hi,

My mother and myself never got along with each other since my childhood. I was more closer to my father through out my childhood. My parents separated 4 years back when i was 22 years old. And my dad has not kept in touch. My mother and my elder sister have been troubling me all this while. I have moved states to be alone and have found excellent work and am living an independant life. My sister married and now she does not want to take care of my mother. And has my mom now has come to stay with me because she has not where else to go. I am constantly upset with her for every small mistake she does and now she regrets all that she has done to me but i am not in a position to forgive her

She had locked me out one night and did not pick up her call. I had to stay out all night. SHe has abused and insulted me in front of all her friends and relatives. She had left me once and taken all my stuff too.

How can i come to terms with a mother like this.

I need help

 
Old 11-08-2011, 10:02 AM   #2
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Re: I love and Hate my mom

Oooh boy...I can relate.My mother was the same way. I have not spoken to her in about 3 years now either.
Send her back to your sister or ask your sister to split the cost of putting her somewhere else.

Sometimes being sorry for one's actions just isn't enough.

 
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Old 11-08-2011, 10:38 AM   #3
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Re: I love and Hate my mom

locking you out of your own house is unacceptable.....
tell your mom.....your house....your rules....
if she can't abide by them, she can go elsewhere

 
Old 11-08-2011, 08:38 PM   #4
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Re: I love and Hate my mom

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhenItRains View Post
Oooh boy...I can relate.My mother was the same way. I have not spoken to her in about 3 years now either.
Send her back to your sister or ask your sister to split the cost of putting her somewhere else.

Sometimes being sorry for one's actions just isn't enough.
My sister was taking care of her for a year almost after my mother took all my stuff and went to stay with her and her husband. My sister took my mother in as she had just delivered a baby and needed someone to take care of it while she worked. For one year my mother was there with them. My brother in law could not stand my mother being around and asked her to leave. My sister did not take a stand on this and asked my mother to leave. My sister then quit her job as told to her by her husband as he wanted my sister to stay at home and look after the child.

They dont have money to look after themselves well and cannot afford to take a separate place for my mom too. They know i have a good job that pays well and my sister sent my mom back to me. I could not say no as i knew she has no where else to go.

My mother is now feeling bad for what she did to me a year back and not regrets it. But i cannot be sure if that is how she really feels as she has no other choice. As when i had jaundice a while back i asked my mom to come down to take care of me. I told her i will pay for all her expenses as i could not move around or even cook for myself. She clearly told me she does not care if i live or die!!! I had to then keep a maid for myself to help me with all my chores it took me 3 months to recover on the whole.

I will forgive her as i will do my duty as a daughter to a mother. But apart from this i have no feelings for her or think she cares about me a little about me

 
Old 11-08-2011, 08:40 PM   #5
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Re: I love and Hate my mom

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
locking you out of your own house is unacceptable.....
tell your mom.....your house....your rules....
if she can't abide by them, she can go elsewhere
Yes, i made that very clear to her and thats why she packed all the stuff of the house and left one day without even telling me. I come back from work and find the house is empty. Apart from my bed and a closet and my shoes everything else was gone. She had left to my sisters house which is 2 hours by flight.

 
Old 11-09-2011, 05:49 AM   #6
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Re: I love and Hate my mom

That is rough,but your mother must have somewhere else she can go...a friend,other relative,some one?
Can you afford to rent her a room someplace? She should get a job regardless.

 
Old 11-10-2011, 08:16 PM   #7
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Re: I love and Hate my mom

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Originally Posted by WhenItRains View Post
That is rough,but your mother must have somewhere else she can go...a friend,other relative,some one?
Can you afford to rent her a room someplace? She should get a job regardless.
She has friends and relatives but no one would keep her. And she is not keeping well too. She has osteopenea( weak bones)

 
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