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Old 01-11-2012, 05:58 PM   #1
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samus HB User
My pathetic jealousy

I have severe insecurities that there for create severe jealousy. I am not at all proud of what I am going to confess, I'm rather ashamed honestly but this is one of the only ways I can try to get better.

When my boyfriend watches a movie that has nude women in it, it get anxiety and actually start crying. I've spoken with him many times about this and I believe him when he says he does not watch movies for that purpose and he could really care less. My problem is no matter those things, in his mind he judges that woman, which he admitted. Thats completely normal and I try not to hold that against him. What makes me cry is the thought that he may like her body more than mine.

I can handle him thinking someone is pretty, but for him to think someone is prettier than me makes me feel like I'm ugly and not good enough, even though he reassures me that I am. I feel like I have to be the best, the prettiest, or I am worthless and not worth looking at. I'm a very attractive woman, but that isn't good enough for me, and I don't know why.

If he accidently sees something that bothers me, I become depressed for days, obsessing whether he prefers her breasts, as I am very unhappy with mine. Everyone tells me to 'love and accept myself' but that feels pointless if it doesn't change what's wrong with my appearance. My boyfriend says he's perfectly happy with how I look, and I believe him, but I feel the need to look better so he won't think someone else looks better. I know this sounds crazy, and I'm truly ashamed of this. I don't like who I've become. Can someone help or relate?

 
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Old 01-13-2012, 04:39 AM   #2
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Tori41 HB UserTori41 HB User
Re: My pathetic jealousy

Hi:
A lack of self-confidence and depressive-moods for days in your detailed description, above, .... sounds like you've been sufferring from mild-form of depression. Particulary, someone in your family has or had depression or any other mental illnesses, you're prone to get one. Because, mental illness runs in the family like any other health-issues, diabetes, heart ailments and all other diseases and illnesses.

First, try to seek 'talk-therapy' with a compassionate psycho.-therapist working with psychiatrist.

Last edited by Tori41; 01-13-2012 at 04:51 AM. Reason: misspell

 
Old 01-13-2012, 12:24 PM   #3
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Re: My pathetic jealousy

Thank you for replying. I do have issues with depression, always have, but through reading I am now thinking I have an inferiority complex. All the same, whatever it is, it's ruining a lot of things for me. I'm doing my best to work on it. It's just going to take time I suppose.

 
Old 01-13-2012, 01:47 PM   #4
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Tori41 HB UserTori41 HB User
Re: My pathetic jealousy

In my knowledge, depression brings up all sort of issues in life, including 'insecurity, 'low self-esteem,' and other negative thoughts in general that certainly affects job-search/performance including relationship.

One thing on which I suggest you is talk to your boyfriend about your mental issue, depression, because you need his understanding and support, if you want to sustain a long and happy relationship with him.

As in my previous response, 'talk-therapy or pschyo-therapy is one of good tools for you to consider in order to remove some of your negative thoughts due to depression.

 
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