I wonder if anyone can give me some advise on their experience of mania. (sorry if this is a bit long) I've had depression on and off since i was a teen, which i've had treated once 2 years ago and again now.
I started a new job within my company 6 months ago (an easier less stressful same pay kinda job). I started to have problems concentrating and doing my work, I was late a few times (though i should mention that I am a flexible worker so I wasnt technically late). One of the managers (not mine) pulled me up for it, I'd already been crying that morning and was having difficulty settleing down. So when she pulled me up I totally freaked out and couldnt stop crying and shaking and generrly not making much sence. I was sent home for obviuos reasons and went to the doctor who signed me off work for 1 month but said to come back if i hadnt improved. I was prescribed Flouxetine 20mg daily.
after the month I started feeling better and went back to work as i didnt want to be off too long. I've been back for 3 months now (had two weeks off for xmas). I started to feel all over the place about a month ago, i was struggling already but i didnt feel right and started having problems with my sleep (nightmares and vivid dreams which i've had on and off since i was a child). So I went back to the doc 2 weeks ago and he upped me to 40mg daily and gave me tamezapam to sleep (obvoisly telling me not to take them every night). Since then I've been even more all over the place. This week has been particuarly difficult. I'm finding it hard to concentrate in work, I went out on saturady and got so completely carried away that I blacked out, and my sex drive (which has been practically non exsistent for the last few years) is off the chart. Seriously I cant stop thinking about sex, when i has ameeting with my manager yesterday, it was all i could do not to think about having sex with him - and not am i not attarcted to him, I'm in a long term reletionship. the other weird thing I started to do is obsess about things. I've always had a habit if i watch or read something i need to know everything, so I read a book to keep my mind off things and now I feel i need to read every book the author wrote, which has included me reading in the office when I should be working.
I just want to know if I am overreacting to my reaction or if something is wrong with me. Its worth noting that my mother (whilst we barly talk) has suffered mental illness her whole life, which has included delusions. However i dont know what she sufferes as she claims there is nothing wrong with her (though hard to believe when shes litrarly talking with herself).
Any advise would be much appreacited (ps - I'm a PA in a library so not really a stressful job)
Sounds like some sort of mania you've been experiencing as reading your detailed description.
You indicated you went to doctor, but wonder which doctor you went for your diagnose and got the meds? The complexity like yours, you would seek the good psychiatrist for proper diagnose and correct meds.
Thanks Tori for replying,
Its quite hard to get access to a phsychatrist in the uk, we see our GP first and they can refer us but its to go through a counsillor first or alt through a telephone hot line. (well in my area at least). I don't really trust the hotline as i dont think they have any reason not to talk to people about what i've spoken to them about and the same with councillors. My doc said I was depressed, the problems I've been having with my sleep for examples, where i click awake or take ages to get to sleep he says are symptoms of my depression. I haven't in fair spoken to him about the feelings I've had the last week or so, (sex, racing thoughst ect). The reason I'm so wary is that the last time I was suffereing from depression he had me on three different anti-depressants over 6 months and I'm scared of i'm just changing the meds or telling me stop. I was on, citralpram, mirtazpine and reboxitine. Also had zopiclone and zolpidolw to make me sleep.
I dont know if i should go speak to my doc or not - my boyfriend thinks i overreact to everything so I havent really spoke to him about its but he is getting annoyed with my increase in sex drive (but as he's having a hard time just now he might not have even noticed).
Racing thoughts is certainly one of Bipolar II symptoms. Also, an increase of your sex drive is another, manic part of Bipolar II which some of BPs has but not all BPs. Insomnia is one of depressive or manic symptoms.
It sounds to me like you need mood-stabilizer, rather several different anti-depressants to combat. The first-lined med. for BP II is Depakote and other anti-seizure-meds. Another good med. is Lithium which has dual efficacy, anti-depressant and mood-stabilizer. All those meds. are not expensive and works well for mild to mid-range of BPII.
As for counselor, it's one of good tools for you to feel better, but med. is most important tool for the symptoms you're describing.
I have no idea regarding UK medical system, but in my suggestion, you would tell the doc. about racing thoughts and an increase of your sex-drive. From there, he/she should rx more appropriate med./meds. to alleviate your current mental issues.
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