Abandoned as a child
Iím not sure if this is the place but it seemed the most likely. This post is more of a vent I think. After reading some other posts in this forum my story seems unimportant in comparison.
Itís been a long time since Iíve thought about my childhood. Iíve been thinking about it a lot the past little while. The more I think about it the more it feels like Iíve repressed most of it for my own wellbeingÖ to protect myself from feeling what I felt those days so long ago. I donít know why these memories decided to come flooding back but they didÖ and it really scared me.
Both my parent worked so off to the babysitters I went. The funny thing is I donít remember their names, their faces, anything except the time I spent there. In all these memories I was alone. I was likely age 4-6 during these times but I canít say for sure. It's possible that I was just left alone in the house for hours. All I remember is playing by myself always alone, maybe they just let me do my thing... I duno. I just remember being in some room with some of my toys, I remember a clock and looking at it for hours at a time being sad, trying to pass the time, waiting to get picked up and go home. Walking around the downstairs of the house, not seeing or hearing anyoneÖ I also remember being there in that room crying by myself for hours. I think I remember they had a daughter who went to elementary school who came home for lunches; I remember begging her not to go back after she had eaten lunch because I didnít want to be alone. I remember being in a room in a dark basement alone with a TV, I watched some show about people in Africa who built some tall tower where the elderly jumped to their death and the young jumped to prove their worth or something. I'm not sure why I was allowed to watch that but I still remember those things like it happened yesterday.