Re: Being in a relationship with a chronic pain man.
I suffer from chronic back pain and I tell you that chronic pain is very debilitating both physically and mentally. I went from being a very active person who golfed, played basketball and volleyball whenever possible and worked a full time job plus all the overtime they would allow. I worked two jobs so my wife wouldn't have to work in her last year of nursing school. Working was the only thing I was really good at. I never minded working seven days a week or long hours, not just when I needed the money. It's how I valued myself as a person. Now after two back surgeries I still suffer chronic pain and cannot work. I don't know your specific situation with your spouse but I am never comfortable anymore. Those long days when you've worked hard and you're dog tired and you you sit or lay down and go Ahhhh!!! That feels so good!!! I haven't a moment like that in four or five years. I can't sit comfortably, lay comfortably. I can't stand for long or sit for long without pain and discomfort. There is really no way to explain to a person who has never suffered from chronic pain what it's like. It changes your entire life. I can no longer truly enjoy anything because pain is always on my mind. Sometimes the pain makes me nauseous. I have muscle spasms when I lay down. I guess if you could imagine walking barefoot on broken glass twenty four hours a day while doing everything you enjoy doing, you might have an idea. I know it's hard on my wife as she is very active and wants to do everything all the time. I'm no longer capable of keeping up with her. I'm NOT lazy. Even when I do things with her it's hard not to let the pain get to me. It's also very depressing knowing this is what you have to live with. I stay home and do house work, but I'm not good at cleaning. It's not that I don't want to do it, it's just that I don't do it as well or as quickly as she does. I still do it,it just takes a while. The simplest of chores around the house gets my back hurting. Pain meds help ease the pain but do not eliminate it. When I am doing something physical they barely help at all. I need to do a little, rest, do some more, rest and so on.i don't know of any of this helps you but this is my life and I assume that of most chronic pain sufferers. I would gladly trade anyone for their healthy back and go back to working two jobs and be able to enjoy doing things again.