Re: i need help
You say that you avoid classes when you were in college and hence did not do well, maybe you chose a subject that you were not interested in. Just thinking though, how has life progressed since college? Perhaps if you are working now you can study psychology to an extent and you will get a lot of answers about the world around you. Currently it seems like you know a lot about yourself and people that you have been involved with but have not been able to put them together just yet. In the mean time, check out bipolar depression/personality. I am not suggesting that you are suffering from it but personally, when I read or study about it, I feel connected to a level.
I say this because I usually have spells of good days and then all of a sudden from a small trigger I can fall into a spell of depression and the whole world seems like a place to avoid which in reality means that I would like to just stay in one place doing nothing, torture myself mentally with negative thoughts, possibly similar to the ones you have faced.
Let me know how you get on with your personal analysis. Thanks