| | Do I have a Bipolar Disorder?
Hello, so lately my life has been a complete mess.
This all started about one and half year ago, (I'm 16 now, turning 17 in july)
There would be days where I would be depressed, and felt ashamed for being depressed and started to take it out on myself, hurting myself. Cutting or turning to alcohol. I would feel totally hopeless and worthless. I would just feel like a empty/hollow shell and have suicidal thoughts and sleep all day.
And then I'd feel energized, excited and ready for new things. Having plans like opening my own business, that I was going to make so much money. The world would suddenly look brighter and full of colour. A feeling that I was on top of the world and nothing could ever bring me down. Buying stuff that I don't really need for example, on e-bay 2 blankets of 80 dollars, I'm only 16. I don't have 160 dollars.
I would feel very self-confident, that I could fight anyone and win..
Even the best boxers. Or that I would have these special supernatural powers. Writing this all down and realising this makes me sick of myself.
It feels like a rollercoaster, and I just can't get out. It's confusing.
I sometimes even have the feeling that people are staring at me, gossiping about me or laughing at me, sometimes I even feel like that someone keeps following me or planning to trick me.
So I started to do some research, I found out that my mother, grandma, great grandma and aunt all suffered from severe depression, probably a hereditary factor?
That explains my depressive moods, I guess. But I just couldn't understand why I would have these hyperactive, extremely happy and optimistic moods.
So, I went through some online tests and it always ends up with "Bipolar Disorder."
My grades are suffering from this. I just feel like going crazy.
Am I Bipolar, do I need to seek for help? Or is this just a part of growing up?