| | Highly functioning bipolar??
I did an online screening quiz for bipolar. The quiz said I have moderate to severe symptoms of bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed with ADHD by several different psychiatrists from the time I was 12. Once I entered early adulthood I was diagnosed with depression. I've felt like I've been experiencing episodes of depression ever since. However, the times that I haven't felt depressed I've felt highly wired up. I've always attributed this to my ADHD diagnosis.
What led me to take the bipolar screening quiz is that I have increasingly been experiencing episodes of extreme elation and episodes of severe suicidal depression. I haven't really documented how long these have lasted or anything, but it got me kind of worried.
I just became accepted into an extremely competitive graduate program. I graduated in the tip top of my class at a world-renowned university. Most of my peers would have NO idea what my internal struggles are like. As a 28 year old female, I've struggled with drinking ever since I was about 20. I got through my undergraduate degree with a 4.0 by smoking pot every night.
Now that I'm back in school I feel like the episodes of mania have increased, but just recently the episodes of depression are coming back, too. I guess this is just a vent. I don't even know if I have bipolar. I start graduate school in the fall and I'm scared because I am binge-drinking again. I don't have good health insurance and I don't have much money.
Does this even sound like bipolar? I know very little about it. My boyfriend is the only one who really gets to see my mood swings. I'm not mean to him. I just go from being very elated to being very quiet and withdrawn. He understands because he suffers from depression and he is also highly intelligent but drinks way too much.
I often feel like I can't cope with life. It sucks because I feel lame for being so weak. I have so many good things going for me. I have a great opportunity at an amazing university, I have parents who love me dearly, I have a boyfriend who tries hard to make me happy, and half the time all I want to do is kill myself. The other half of the time I'm super excited to be experiencing all of this.
Thanks for listening. I'm hoping to find out more about what the hell is going on with me.
Last edited by Administrator; 04-02-2012 at 09:02 AM.