So letís start from the beginning ...
about 7 months ago it seemed like my life was ending. Prior to this realization.. One night after discussing my boyfriends new diagnoses of Adult-ADD I was convinced I had over thinking ADD .. I read up on it some more because all of the symptoms in my boyfriends information packet seemed to fit me perfectly. I read one of the symptoms could be depression and next thing I knew a week later I had all the symptoms of depression. Was it because I convinced myself I had it? Iím not too sure. After many counselling appointments my psychologist announced I was suffering from depression and it was probably something that was a Ďlong time comingí .. Something that was just waiting to rear its ugly head into my life and it was just a coincidence that it happened the same time I was reading about it.. From there everything has only seemed to get worse, Iím constantly on the internet searching all sorts of things because Iím not convinced anyone knows exactly what I have. Over the past couple months I have formed intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts, have gone to the hospital and have been put on meds for depression and symptoms of OCD .. Iím just scared that this isnít what I truly have because my psychritist doesnít seem interested or seems too busy to really listen to me .. I honestly am only in his office for 15 minutes and all of a sudden he is handing me a new prescription. Basically Iím just fed up Iím convinced I have all sorts of things and am constantly researching .. so far Iíve come up with depression, anxiety, bipolar, ocd, anger issues, identity issues ect.. any advice or similar situations? What do you think I truly have? Obviously this isnít the entire story .. but is the basics.
My symptoms include:
tired all the time, thoughts are constantly racing from intrusive things (for example: hurting people who annoy me, would I be happy in jail, suicide ect) .. i know i would never do these things but i get extreme anxiety thinking about it, i also consume my thoughts around other possible illnesses, find it hard to get moving, lack of interest in sex, moody, irritable all the time, no interest in friends or old pass times.. Since Iíve started the medication some days I feel fine but as soon as I let my thoughts take hold of me I get depressed again.. Which causes me to think I am bipolar but in reality if I keep busy im happy but if I let my thoughts get the best of me I get depressed. Is this just normal with depression .. some days up and some days down? Basically Iíve been diagnosed with mild OCD, depression, and some anxiety .. However they say this all stemmed from the depression in a way .. and my OCD behaviors (for example, everything needing to be perfect and racing/obsessive thoughts) have always been a part of me but didnít affect me negatively because I wasnít depressed .. I guess they basically say it is all just tied together causing each other to happen? ... Basically Iím just asking for reassurance, advice, your opinion, or your success stories!
It sounds like you're suffering from health anxiety. After reading your post it seems like worrying about your health preceded all your other symptoms (depression, OCD, bipolar, etc). I think it's possible if you get treatment for your health anxiety your symptoms may start to clear up. Constantly worrying about your health I think is reason enough to be frequently tired, irritable, depressed and having no interest in socializing, sex or other activities. It's like health anxiety has taken control over your life and it's hard to be happy or enjoy doing anything when you have this big burden constantly weighing on you. I think once you start to manage your health anxiety you'll get a better idea as to whether you could benefit from additional treatment for depression and OCD or whether it's only health anxiety that's really making your life miserable.
If you haven't talked to your psychologist about health anxiety I would suggest doing so. I think also getting into group therapy for health anxiety or just anxiety may be beneficial as you'll be able to talk and listen to people who can relate to what you're going through.