Originally Posted by lostinspaces
I take lithium and clonazapam but am getting zyprexa to help with my issues. I have tried almost all the other antipsychotics and they either didn't work well enough or gave me bad side effects so I've shunned them to stick with the mood stabilizer lithium as it has been very effective at doing it's job. However since getting off the pain medications I have become increasingly hostile and violent. I work out all day body and mind and am a very dangerous man both physically and cunning.
First off, the reason why you've been acting the way you hate is because Mental illnesses you have, ... not because of your real personality, as reading that you sound basically very caring and charming enough to attract several women/girlfriends, pysically and mentally.
The bad thing is, however you've been NOT able to take those anti-psychotic meds., particularly Zyprexa. The Zyprexa and similar anti-psycho.meds. are a BIG help in regard to anger/rage, snap and rambing episodes. Lithium is, of course a good mood-stabilizer, but it's a bit helpful to the issues, rage/anger you've been dealing. Because, as you've said, your mental issues are not under control, due to the side-effects.
I have no idea as for other effective meds. to someone like you, ... but I often heard that an injection once a month is a best solution to folks who are not able to withstand oral anti-psychotic meds. If you'd think about this, try to talk to your psychiatrist soon. As the the price for this, ... I honestly do not know, but most of insuraces seem to cover.
Since your parents sound great folks dealing and understanding to your mental issues, then you could talk to them if its price is too high for you to get one.
As to the visit of your girlfriend the next day, .... it might be not good time for you to see her if your issues are full-blown and you're not able to make a good conversation with her, UNLESS she's fully understading to your mental condition. Unfortunately, not every girls have good understanding to deal with mental issues her partner has. Then, it's up to you whether it's nice to see her the next day, .... or some excuse to ask her to see you later date when you feel better. It's my opinion, but it's all up to you.