| | OCD and thoughts of hurting other people.I need help.
Okay, so I am 20 years old and I have been diagnosed with ADHD,Bipolar,Depression, and OCD. For the past 4 months I have had a fear of taking my perscription pills and overdosing, and that I didnt trust myself around them.I was scared that I was just going to go crazy and just take them all.Even though I knew I didnt want to, I CONSTANTLY thought about it, and had major anxiety coming with it as well.
I have been doing a little better on those thoughts, but a new one has just come on since last Thursday, I was having a meeting with my therapist and out of no where we were talking about OCD and it triggered something Im guessing.Because I got home after that and layed down and my mind was just wondering and all of a sudden I had a new fear, that I was going to hurt my brother.But even when I have the thoughts im scared by them and i dont like them, so i know i wont do anything.My brother is 15 and has a mild case of autism, he's my world and I would have NEVER EVER thought about hurting him in any way.But the past few days it's been constantly on my mind, and not even about hurting him, just the thought that I could.That's what scares me the most.Just like the pills, that I would just go crazy and do it.It brings so much anxiety on, I can't eat, I have diahrea, and my chest feels heavy for extremely long periods of times.
The only thing that has changed though, is about two weeks ago my doctor increased my geodon, and zoloft. So now Im on 90 mg of geodon and 200 mg of zoloft.I felt fine when I was on 150 mg like I was before but since she increased those two medicatiions I have just felt worse and worse.
I even tried to go back to taking 150 Mg of the zoloft but the next day was the day that I started getting these thoughts about my brother. So I have absolutely no clue what to do, I just hate feeling like this.Im not my happy self and giggly.Im just always down and blah.I dont know what to do.
Can someone give me any advice?