Yes, I understand. Here is fine with me. I think most people on this board has heard it all so i don't have aproblem with that.
I'm so srry to hear that your depression started so so young. I think we have a lot in common. I grew up in a dysfuncitional family, and my mom says she remembers me being so sad. I'm sorry to say that I can't remember most of my childhood, but I started doing really bad things at about age 16. I hope that you can get a good therapist soon. I pray that you find one who is gentle, kind and caring, and very knowledgeable so that they can help you.
I understand about how you have your family that needs you. My children are grown with families of their own now, and I know my grandchildren need me too. I have got to get better so I can be there for them. This day and time they need all the help they can get. Over the years I know that I let my children down because my condition would just seem to take over. I have asked for theri forgiveness and know that they don't hold it against me. I just can't seem to forgive myself.
As soon as you get your insurance, I pray that God sends the right person to you and that you get the help you need. Believe me...going years without help is a disaster waiting to happen.