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Midgard · 09-26-2012, 02:40 AM

So here is my dilemma. A few months ago I had my first sexual experience and I ended up loosing my mind and have yet to recovered. what happened was I started thinkIng what if he had HIV. The thought of it left me in a complete mess. I began to question my mortality and how many years until my body gives out. I grew distant from friEnds and family. I sat in my room thinking do I have HIV or not... Thing is I later found out their is a 0% risk of HIV being transmitted this way. It's only a theoretical risk. And that their are no case reports on this ever happening. Even learning this didn't put me at ease. I'm still not at ease. What ends up happening was I grew mental all hope was lost for me because I had strange symptoms but it could all be in my head BUT I had given up. I was Exusated in thought I couldn think anymore.

What I'm trying to say is since all of this happend I haven't been the same. I'm mental now I just don't think straight. I'm convinced I have HIV even though I had zero risk. I haven't been able to move on with my life I'm juts thinking about it. I'm too afraid to test and find out. If I test possitive not only would I be the first person to be infected by HIV this way but I would have gotten HIV before having actual sex.

Can someone please help calm me down

scarecrow447 · 09-30-2012, 07:06 PM

Alright man so your showing signs of hypochondria which im sure you've been told by now. I once had a similar experience where I received the clap and swore to mysleft after i was treated for it that my symptoms weren't subsiding but getting worse making me think i must have contracted something much more serious like HIV unlike you i did have sex so the possibilities were endless in my mind but i thought the worst. I had blood work done and of course i came back negative but even after being told that i still believed that something was wrong with me and wouldn't listen to reason. I didn't go off the deep end no offense but i was scared. I have never really gotten 100 percent past the thought that there's nothing wrong with me or believed it but i don't think i have an std now. Get tested and see if that helps man sorry you can't get it out of your head, and if your that scared to not get tested go with someone other than a family member or doctor like a friend to be exact, that you trust. Good luck

Midgard · 10-02-2012, 12:57 AM

That is great that you didn't get infected. Thank god. Me on the other hand I don't know. Iv read countless forums and asked around it seems as if it's impossible to contract HIV this way yet I can't get it out of my head. If I co reacted HIV from my first sexual encounter and from a theoretical risk what does this mean? Have the planets aligned on me? It would be equivalent to getting struck by lightening 10 times in one day. I can't drop it because everytime I go out side or it's hot my skin acts up in different ways. I try to forget but my skin won't let me. I want to test but can I really go on the rest of my life knowing wow my first sexual experience led me to this? I understand if life knocks me down after countless unprotected intercourse but this is just sad. I'll go mad I just know it ..

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