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Old 10-30-2012, 11:29 AM   #1
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coffeemom30 HB User
Serious question - BPD

I am seeing a psychiatrist for depression and I will get a formal diagnosis soon, but until then I would like to ask some questions.

My doc said that I have depression (I've had that since I was a teenager), and she thinks I could have a personality disorder. I know she's talking about BPD because I have cut in the past. She won't diagnose me because she's only seen me twice.

I have severe depressive episodes when I go off my SSRIs. I have underlying dysthymia but also major depressive episodes on top of that. Like I said, I do have periods of self injury, namely cutting my wrist with an Xacto knife. I haven't done that in a few years. I pick at my skin, and have to wear long sleeves because my arms are so bad. I am extremely sensitive to criticism. A small comment will send me spiraling into a horrible depression.

I have anxiety, mostly social. Sometimes I go into a weird state of mind where I think people are all out to get me. I feel physically ill and fearful of people in general. Not sure if that is psychotic. That state of mind disappears when I am on my meds.

The reason I do not think I have BPD is because my relationships are generally stable. I've been happily married for almost 10 years and am close with my family. But, I also have those times where I feel crazy, and I hate everyone, and I feel like everyone hates me. I have times where I cannot stand to be around my family. Once I even seriously considered taking my daughter and leaving town, and there really was no reason for that. I also can't work because there is always a crisis with coworkers. (Usually they hurt my feelings and I quit.)

But, most of the time I am OK, and when I take my meds I'm fine.

Could it be BPD or just plain old depression?

Last edited by Administrator; 10-30-2012 at 06:47 PM.

 
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Old 10-31-2012, 09:39 AM   #2
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ROSSIV46 HB User
Re: Serious question - BPD

It's best for your Doctor to make the diagnosis and it may take a bit to get proper diagnosis. I am also a cutter, but do not have BPD. I am bipolar I. I had asked my DR> both therapist/and pschychiatrist if I might have BPD but they said no and basically told me that BPD USUALLY have relationship issues and very black and white. Doesn't sound with your marriage this is an issue.

 
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