I can't even begin to imagine the sort of pain you've been going through as of lately...I'm so sorry to hear about all of this.
It sounds like you have a lot of people who care about you, though.
I can only tell you about my experience in the hospital. For me, it was the best thing that could have happened--I finally knew what was going on with me, and I did get medicines, which have helped me tremendously. I know that it's a lot easier to say "Don't be afraid" than it is to actually not be afraid, but at least keep an open mind about going to the hospital.
Yikes, I know that sounded bad. I'm sorry.