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Old 11-07-2012, 05:09 PM   #1
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Have you ever..

Have you ever felt...stuck. Mentally stuck. Ever since I was about four or five, I would always feel like something or someone was watching me. Not in a creepy way, but just picking up my rooftop and looking in at my daily life. I always imagined how other kids at school lives were, what they did at home. I never really dreaded on the thought, it was just always there. I never told anyone, afraid they would not understand (typical huh?). Well, in one way, I pictured it as the little guy on the Super Mario games, with the camera that just flew around, you know? hahaha.
Well, long story short I suppose, lets not beat around the bush huh? Well, both of my parents were amazing. Drug addicts, but amazing. I remember quite a bit of things. My brother and sister, a lot more I am sure. But they did, coke, crack, drank, ect. My dad..He was very abusive to my mother. My sister and I were taken away at the ages of 7, and 11. Multiple times I had been molested by a cousin, who no one honestly took serious so I just surpassed it. I have always had a boyfriend that I can remember. Always. It got serious my eighth grade year, long distance. ( 6th grade-8th i was very depressed and shamelessly..i use to cut) Well 9th grade, same guy going towards 9th grade -Dated Austin Pot head, drinker, use to do meth, mother bad bad alchie. Got serious. Left him for John-10th/11th grade Went to jail for 2 years for stabbing a guy, pot head, had a son. dated two years. Had a miscarriage with Austin. Fell for John. Went with Tristan for about two weeks my senior year. Met Bryan-who is my present. IN four years, I have been single for 3 months.
Wow,. you dont have to keep going lol. Any ways, there is ALOT MORE.
I just dont want to make a story. I just feels tuck. I feel like i go into a litle girl state, I cant seem to "grow up". I feel mentally stuck in an age that I am years beyond, and everyone calls me out. They continue to rub in my face of how "immature" or how stupid i am. I cant seem to learn anymore...
IDK what to think or do.. I jusut go,, on a really bad auto pilot.

 
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Old 11-18-2012, 03:10 AM   #2
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Re: Have you ever..

Hello itisrealhuh and welcome.

Life can really be unfair at times but there are those moments when we are afforded with a glimmer of hope for a brighter future. Have you ever experienced anything remotely similar?
Have you considered any type of therapy for what ails you?
It may make all the difference in the world.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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