OwlingForMoney

I have had this problem for a couple years now and was wondering if their is a name to this or it maybe just a phase.
I have always viewed myself as someone who is very spazzy. I never say what's I truly mean to say and is constantly making social mistakes. So when ever I remember one of these mistakes I have the sudden urge to scream or punch something. People would ask if I'm ok and always reply "Just Remembering."
I have a history of bullying do to my looks and how I act. I view knowledge as power but I am never truly intelligent. Family say that it's strange when I smile due to the fact the 99% of the time I either have a blank face or look ******. I am able to be social but, as I said, tend to be a conversation killer.
Any helpful feedback is more then welcome. All I really would like to know is what's happening to me a natural deliemma or something more serious.