Overwhelmed and Scared, Still being Diagnosed, Mood Tracking?
I just went to my doctor about my moods because my husband told me I really needed to. It looks like he's thinking I'm bipolar, something I've been thinking for a while but thought it was better to ignore. He's sending me for bloodwork to see if there's any issues with my thyroid and he has me tracking my moods.
I'm completely overwhelmed by tracking... I know its such a stupid thing to get overwhelmed by, but I've never had to sit down and define my moods, let alone by degree in "Depressed" "Elevated" or "Mixed"... I've even done Google searches trying to see if there's a chart of what to look for in each level... but I guess it's not that black and white.
I'm especially afraid I'll answer "wrong" by picking too low or high a level and then messing up my diagnoses...
I'm really scared I really am bipolar... I feel like it'll prove just how "messed up" I am and that it's this huge life altering thing and I won't be able to handle it. It's something I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life and I don't think I'm handling it very well. My husband is trying really hard to be supportive, and I love him for it, but he's definitely feeling the stress too.
There's not a lot of people I can talk to, I'm not very close to a lot of people since I would go through phases of isolation and I burned a lot of bridges that way.
Re: Overwhelmed and Scared, Still being Diagnosed, Mood Tracking?
Hi. Just wanted to say I know how you are feeling. This process can be very upsetting but I would suggest that you take a deep breath and try to relax. I know how hard just doing that can be if you are feeling manic.
Bi-polar is treated with medication and therapy just like many other disorders. There are no right or wrong answers when you are tracking just be as honest as you can. And yes, tracking can be overwhelming. I did it on my own for months and often found it frustrating and redundant at times. Just do the best you can with honesty.
Try to change that message you give yourself of "how messed up" you really are. Bipolar can be scary and there could be a big adjustment in your life with medications and behavior changes. But... the benefits of treatment can really impact our lives in a positive way. And you will be able to handle it!
I too go through weeks of isolation with my depressive episodes. My doc seems to have my mania controlled for the most part. My manic episodes are not as high as they used to be or as destructive, but my depression can still be pretty severe.
I know you said you don't alot of people to talk to, try to look for support on these boards. At least you may find posts and be able to relate and support others. But I would look for information on this site. I haven't really shared alot on a open board, it's just uncomfortable but I have found posts from others that I can really identify with.
I am newly diagnosed after 20 years of misdiagnosed as depression and anxiety. The bipolar diagnosis was not a surprise, but it is a challenge to accept. Good luck in your journey to health!
Last edited by moderator2; 12-14-2012 at 08:13 AM.