Re: An honest post... just want answers!
I don't think you sound crazy or have a screwed up personality. You sound very aware of yourself and the problems you're experiencing.
I think it's certainly possible you might have bipolar disorder. The rapid change from feeling good to angry, the lack of temper control, thoughts about death, difficulties with sleeping, self-confidence going from very poor to incredibly high are all potential symptoms of bipolar disorder.
When treating bipolar disorder with medication, just taking anti-depressants may not only be useless, but counterproductive. Instead, I think a mood stabilizer is prescribed first and then possibly an anti-depressant in conjunction with the mood stabilizer to treat the depression phase of the bipolar disorder. I'm not sure about mood stabilizers, but I know anti-depressants can take a while to work and can cause a number of unpleasant side-effects. If you decide to go on medication and can find the right combination of medication, it can really help with taking the edge off the intensity of the symptoms you experience.
If you haven't already, I suggest talking to your doctor about whether you're suffering from bipolar disorder or not.