dj864

Hello,

I really don't know where to start but I'll try. I have a learning disability and I suffer from anxiety. Have all my life. I was my Mom's best friend and did everything with her and lived with her until she died. I was really messed up and lonely so I started surfing dating sites to find a guy. Long story short, in 2008 I found one. To make a long story short. This guy was not a citizen and only wanted a green card. I got pregnant by him about a month after we met and we married about four months after. I know I'm stupid guys and I've beat myself up. I was not thinking right after my mom died. He was sweet while we dated but soon after marriage got cold. It hurt me because I spend so much money going through the whole immigration process for him. I took him in when he had nothing. Even if you are using someone, why be so cold. Anyway, fast forward to today. It's gotten worse. He's a great father to our daughter and loves her dearly but he treats me so mean. I tried asking him why but he won't talk to me. He stopped having sex with me two years ago and stays out all night so I know hes cheating. My four year old daughter even asks why do you treat mommy so mean. It hurts me when she says this.

I feel unwanted, and unloved. I have problems getting around because of my learning disability and can't drive at night. I've never lived alone and scared to leave him but I know I should. It torments me because I talk to him but he ignores me but he chats all the time when he's not working with women online. I try to hug him but he pushes me away. I ask him for sex but he tells me to go find it outside. This hurts so bad. I just don't know what to do. It's like he is here but he ignores me. He sleeps on the couch, does not eat my food, does nothing with me. I feel no man will ever want me if I leave him because of how I am. I've just always been a little slower and different. I'm a bit scared to be alone. If anyone has any advice for me I would greatly appreciate it. I just feel at times I don't want to live anymore. What is the point? I can't even hold a job because of my learning disability. Just don't know what to do.