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Old 04-07-2013, 09:17 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2013
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Goingtough HB User
My girlfriend is miserable and I can't help her because I am too

I don't know what to do. My girlfriend takes the sadness from everyone she loves and internalizes it. Her father is a miserable person and she fears for him, and I think that's been transferred over to everyone else in her life. She's so afraid of other people's sadness that she doesn't think it's necessary to focus on her own happiness, and her own self improvement. I don't know what to tell her, because it seems like she really just doesn't know how to take care of herself.

Last edited by Goingtough; 04-07-2013 at 09:26 AM.

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Old 04-07-2013, 04:19 PM   #2
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Re: My girlfriend is miserable and I can't help her because I am too

Those are some very interesting thoughts. You may be right. The question is, how does this relationship serve YOU? Are you trying to rescue her? I can't imagine what you could say to her, if she's not going to listen, you know?

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Old 04-07-2013, 08:21 PM   #3
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Re: My girlfriend is miserable and I can't help her because I am too

It seems that she is trying to rescue everyone from their misery. That's a lot to take on since individually we are responsible for our own happiness as adults. She is fighting a losing battle. What needs to happen here is that she needs to set boundaries on how much she will allow other to interfere with her happiness. She can do xyz for them but then that's it. You can help her by getting her away from family and friends that are draining her. She needs to limit her time with them and spend time enjoying her days...being outdoors, exercising, socializing will lead to a healthier more content life. Is she living at home under her father rule?

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