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my baby died at 19 weeks

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Old 03-02-2005, 06:47 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 61
jo905 HB User
my baby died at 19 weeks

Just to let you know I will be leaving this message board my baby was born on 25th Feb I was 19 weeks pregnant he had the cord round his neck four times and had been dead 2 weeks apparently although Im sure I felt him kick in between this time. Dont really know what else to say as I am grieving so much it hurts to talk about my experience. I was in labour for half hour and had to be induced We will try again but not just yet as I feel I need time to get over this if anyone knows of anyone else this has happened to please let me know as I feel so unlucky and cant believe this is such a rare thing to happen and that it happened to me

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Old 03-02-2005, 06:59 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: New England
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USPS84 HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

I am so sorry...

This post makes me paranoid! I am 18w, and I always thought the cord was so slippery, it was impossible to wrap that early..

I am assuming there was no sign/feeling of just happened?

Sometimes I forget I am pregnant...Just wondering if you felt different in those last two weeks.

Sorry, again.

Old 03-02-2005, 07:02 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,260
jmcummins3 HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could write that would make you feel better, but I am at a loss for what that might be. Take as much time as you need to grieve and take care of yourself.

Old 03-02-2005, 07:03 AM   #4
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 437
Jessthemess HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

I'm sorry this happened to you. That scares me a little too. There have been a few other women on this board with similar situations, but I can't remember names. Maybe they'll find you. I hope you get to feeling better.

Old 03-02-2005, 07:30 AM   #5
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Join Date: Jun 2004
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hillaryb HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. I know how it feels. I had labor, my water broke, and they induced me as well. Im sorry. I know its little help, but you will feel better someday.

Old 03-02-2005, 08:54 AM   #6
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 61
jo905 HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

They said I was just unlucky and the chances of this happening are so rare but no I never knew my baby had died I went to the Doctor on the Thursday as I hadnt felt any movement since the previous weekend (about 4 days) I was totally un prepared for them to tell me there was no heart beat thought I was being paranoid

Old 03-02-2005, 09:40 AM   #7
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tamaraheiner HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

i understand the feeling paranoid. i thought i was paranoid too. we were excited to have an ultrasound.

this happened to my mother. my brother died at 81/2 months b/c of the cord. my mother was induced and delivered a healthy boy- other than the fact that he was dead. she still grieves and it's been 25 years.

i'm sorry for you. the loss is always painful, i've discovered. never a good time to lose an awaited and wanted loved one.

Old 03-03-2005, 08:19 PM   #8
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Join Date: Feb 2005
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reetu2004 HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

I am sorry for your baby. One of my friend had same issue but it was at 36week. She felt that the baby is not moving. They immediately rushed to the hospital and baby heart bit was low. Doctor suggested immediate c-section. Luckily, baby servived after c-section. I think it difficult to know at 19 week whether baby is moving or not.
I really sorry for you and I disturb too.

Last edited by reetu2004; 03-03-2005 at 08:21 PM.

Old 03-04-2005, 07:37 AM   #9
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: North Central Pennsylvania
Posts: 814
valleygurl HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

Jo, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that at this point regardless of what anyone says nothing is going to make you feel better. Experiencing the loss of a child is one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through. I worked in Labor and Delivery for many years and i have seen the same thing you went through happen so many times that i dont care to think about or count. I know that it is a rare occurrance but it happens more than you can imagine.

I also wanted to comment on the statement you had made about your tragedy being so rare and it happening to you. When it comes to ANYTHING bad you always hear people say "IT WONT HAPPEN TO ME", I always tell them "well it can and does happen to unsus pecting people". I know first hand. My last pregnancy i had the feeling for quite sometime that "something" wasnt right, the whole time i was constantly being reassured by my doctor that "everything was fine". I gave birth to my son and immediately after birth he just wasnt acting right and it didnt take long for things to go down hill very rapidly. My son survived, however, he has severe brain damage. My little angel is 8 years old now but he is on a 6 to 8 month old age level.

I know that what i have told you most definately isnt going to make you feel any better. But i wanted to share with you the fact that bad things do happen to good, normal people like us. I never ever dreamed i would have a child whose health was so compromised. This is something i live every single day of my life, not to mention that i never know from one day to the next if my child will even be here, for with his brain damage he is so suseptable to illnesses and he gets sick very fast. He has been on life support and near death several times, as well as children with such severe brain damage as his doesnt have a very long life expectancy. We love him soooo very much and we cherish every moment that we have with him.

Again, i am so very sorry for your loss. If it is any consolation to you, i truely believe everything happens for a reason. I truely belive God has a plan for each and every one of us, so the loss of your precious baby is part of Gods plan for you. It may not seem fair or right or even unclear as to how this could have been part of God's plan, but someday you will get your answers. Just remember this " GOD DOESNT GIVE US ANYMORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE".

With deepest sympathy, ValleyGurl

Old 03-25-2005, 09:21 PM   #10
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1
racefan2448 HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you are going through because I recently went through a similar situation myself. On Valentine's Day this year, I was scheduled to have a level 2 sonogram just to make sure there weren't any abnormalities in my baby since I'm 37 years old. I was about 24 weeks pregnant at the time. The sonogram showed that my baby had died about 2 weeks prior. I too thought my baby was still moving and didn't suspect anything was wrong. I was never sick throughout the whole pregancy and there weren't any type of warning signs. My doctor had me deliver my baby and I had to have a D&C to get the placenta out. I requested an autopsy since there weren't any visible signs as to why my baby had died. The pathology report showed that my placenta had aged prematurely and degenereated, which ultimately starved my baby of oxygen and nutrition. There isn't any explanation why this happened, just an unfortunate circumstance. I doubt that I will try to have another child since I have 2 other children that are teenagers. Plus, I'm still going through a lot of emotional pain and grieving right now that I really don't want to consider trying again for the fear that it might happen again.

Old 04-02-2005, 02:01 PM   #11
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 437
willsmommy HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks


Gosh I feel so very sorry for your situation, reading of your story took me back to the loss of my first precious son, who was also a much wanted and loved baby Joshua. My circumstance was different in so much as what caused his death, he had urethral valve syndrome, which is very rare, and cause such damage to the kidneys that a baby severley affected as was our son is incompatible with life. A term I will never ever forget. I really do know how you feel and the intense pain and agony that every day seems to bring. Letting go and coming to terms with your babies lossis a long process that takes time. A really horrid thing to hear when you are in the midst of grief swinging bwteen the rage of 'why me' and the pure sadness of 'why my so wanted baby'/ Every where I looked people had bumps and buggies and babies, life was very hard for a period. I personally coped by keeping it very concealed except for a very few select few, my husband in the main. To others it was as if my heart had healed when in fact my very being ached with pain and sadness. I probably liked you searched for the reason 'why' and then eventually accepted that there is no reason really, its all down to bad luck and unfortunate chance. On a more optimistic note I know have a beautiful daughter and two large brown eyed boys, the youngest just one years old. You never ever forget, my first born shall always be Joshua but you learn to live again and find a sense of peace and acceptance. The experinece has taught me how to value my children more and wonder at the sheer miracle that they stand before me safe and well. You will get through this very sad time. Thinking of you ((((((hugs)))))) xxxx

Old 04-09-2005, 08:54 PM   #12
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besafe20 HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

will's mommy. My friends son was born with the same problem. They discovered the problem at her 20 week ultrasound and told her the baby would die 100% for sure. They told her these babies often die in utero or are born early and die shortly after birth. They suggested she abort the pregnancy. She refused and went through it all anyways. She had a c-section when labor couldnt be stopped and had her boy with her for 2 hours until he passed away. It was very sad but she was so strong. He was prefect on the outside and you would never know he had a problem. Just thought it was a coincidence since this condition is rare.

Old 04-24-2005, 11:19 AM   #13
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 1
cbvb HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

I don't know if you are still reading messages, but your message struck me. My baby also died at 19 weeks (and 3 days) - the cord was wrapped around his neck 2 times. I believe he died a week earlier (so he was alive 18 weeks). We had a little boy, and named him. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions - sometimes I feel normal, other times angry or depressed. This all happened last month on March 23. I would love to know how you are doing with all of this - it would be comforting to hear from someone else who had also dealt with something so very similar.

Old 04-29-2005, 05:50 PM   #14
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donttell HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

I was 27 weeks preganant when my son died. our first baby. I know how you feel. Your sorrow will last forever , but you will survive, I promise. I still to this day answer that I have three children when asked. I will always include him real and true. Some people may avoid the subject for fear of making matters worse, that is normal. You will be angry and there will be days when it will feel unreal, go with it and know there is no time you should be over it.
Talk about it if you want to who ever will listen. Every part of pregnancy or birth process you want to talk about it talk!
My prayers are with you.

Old 04-30-2005, 07:40 PM   #15
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 4
Sheilainschool HB User
Re: my baby died at 19 weeks

Hello, I can feel your pain and know what you are going through. I have lost two babies, both at 13 weeks. It is a devastating loss and very hard to come to terms with. It is very easy to get depressed and immobilized by the grief. Keep in mind, that it is ok to grieve and feel down, but make yourself get back up and keep going. The chord wrapped around the neck is actually a pretty common problem. I have a son who almost died at birth because the chord was wrapped around his neck twice. Thankfully, he pulled through, but it was touch and go for a while. People aren't going to know what to say to you and will say really stupid things. They mean well but that doesn't always make it easy to deal with. Find people you can talk to and keep a journal. I wrote to the babies in a journal for a little while after I lost them. We always remember them at Christmas. We bought them each an ornament and that is the first ornament we put on every year. We also named each of them. It made their existence real to me. Some people don't do this, but it made me feel good and there is no right or wrong in these situations, just what is best for you. Take care and keep posting!

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