"Missed" Miscarriage - DnC or Labour??? - Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

Eldian · 04-04-2005, 12:27 PM

We just found out that we've had a miscarriage, and it turns out that the baby has been gone for a couple of weeks. We scheduled my wife for a D 'n' C in a couple of days, but she's curious to know what happens if your decide to just 'labour it out'.

Has anyone had any experience with this? Pros or cons for D 'n' C and/or Labour? Presumably we'll still have to have a D 'n' C if Labour doesn't kick in soon... or can you just wait as long as you want?

Any feedback on the emotional aspect of these two options? I would assume that the labour option is pretty drawn out and hard... but maybe there's more closure with it than with the surgery?

Any feedback would be very very welcome. Thanks for your help.

El.

tamaraheiner · 04-04-2005, 12:47 PM

It's a personal decision for everyone. Only you will know what's best for you.

I chose to have a DNC, for my own reasons. I also had a missed miscarriage. The doctor told me that it could be 2 to 4 weeks before my body realized it and started to miscarry. I couldn't handle that. The moment I knew I no longer had a viable fetus, I wanted to end my emotional suffereing and give my body the quickest chance to heal so that we could try again ASAP. I had a DNC the next day. The moment they woke me after the surgery, I bawled like a baby. I had very little pain, felt like I had all the closure I needed. They gave me painkillers that I used only on the first day. I bled off and on for ten days, was back at work and in school two days after the DNC. Two days after the DNC all pregnancy symptons were gone. 28 days after the DNC I got my period.

There are risks associated with a DNC as well, and it costs money. I never want to do it again. But between waiting it out and having a DNC, I thought a DNC looked like the less tramautic option. I wouldn't want to spend four weeks mourning my dead baby and wondering when it would come out.

I've heard horrible stories about natural miscarriages, but my sister-in-law went through one without too much trouble. they opted for it b/c they had no insurance. it took her two weeks to miscarry and she bled for two weeks after but only the first 24 hours were so bad.

Sorry you've had to go through this. I know my husband was my comfort and my strength. He cried as much as I did and missed school and work so he coudl be there with me.

Eldian · 04-04-2005, 12:56 PM

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, it's a crappy deal. I didn't think much about this before it happened, but I never imagined it would be so hard. I can only wonder at what my wife must be going through. She's pretty broken up.

Still, she's having second thoughts about the DnC, which is why i'm asking. We have one planned for a couple days from now, so she's still thinking about it. I think that it would be best to have it done, instead of waiting, but it's totally up to her, so I want to find out as much as I can for her, to help her make the choice she wants.

Thanks again for your feedback... anyone else have any experience?

El.

off kilter · 04-04-2005, 01:13 PM

With my first misscarrage I was alerted to it by bleeding and cramping I chose to let nature take it's course it took a few weeks till I actually went into labor, It did give me time to deal with my grief and say goodbye. With my 2nd one we found out the baby due to the same kidney birth defect was having a slowing of it's heart beat. It was hard to go in every few days to have ultrasounds so we would know when the baby died. In that case I had the baby surgically removed because it could have been a long time till my body realized what happen. I don't know how far along your wife is I was in my 2nd trimester both times.

tamaraheiner · 04-04-2005, 01:28 PM

The further along she is, the harder it is on her body to do it naturally.

Usually if bleeding has already started, the doctor will recommend just to let nature play out its course. the problem, as you have probably heard, is that if she bleeds too much or hemorraghes, she could end up in ER, and if not all of the tissue comes out, she might have to have a DNC anyway

I was 11 weeks.