Hi, I just miscarried today.... - Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

polarized13 · 06-05-2005, 03:15 PM

Hi,

Just yesterday I was on the pregnancy boards talking about baby names, and here I am today, dealing with the devastation of miscarriage after four years of ttc. I do have 2 beautiful children which I'm so thankful for. The doctor tried to console me by saying I could try again, but I don't think that I could go through all of this again. It's just too gut-wrenching. Anyway, I figured coming here was my first step in dealing with my grief.

I wish I hadn't told anyone about my pregnancy because now I have to deal with telling them about this. We were just so excited after trying to concieve for so long. I was only 6 weeks along. But we had names picked out already and everything. I never thought that much about what people go thorough when they have a miscarriage, I didn't think it could hurt this much. It feels like all of my hopes and dreams have been shattered and discarded. Ok, I think I have vented enough for now.

Thanks for listening, I appreciate it.

~~heather~~

weepyone · 06-05-2005, 03:26 PM

Hi Heather
I can only offer my sympathy at this sad time, I have also had a similar experience i miscarried at week 6 last weekend. It is only normal when you have good news to share it with everyone I did the same. I can understand why you feel reluctant to try again after this heart break and your years of trying. I don't know if it helps but the doctor told me 1 in 3 first pregnancies ends in early miscarriage and that after a first miscarriage your likelihood of going on to have a healthy pregnancy and baby is the same as anyone else trying. Maybe at the moment it seems this is not helpful but maybe in time after grieving for your loss you may decide to try again. I hope from now on you have heaps of good luck.

i know i struggled with feeling i had nothing to show or remind me of the baby i had lost, a baby that had all my hopes and dreams attached to it just like you described so i have planted a plum tree as a lasting memory. Some people may think this is daft but it has helped me. Good luck for the future.

EMH · 06-06-2005, 02:42 AM

Heather, I am so sorry for your loss. It seems like miscarriage is one of those things that people often do not feel the freedom to grieve openly. I really believe that is a shame. Of course your dreams and hopes for the future with this baby have been shattered. Your loss is great and it is OK to grieve.

I hope that you will be able to be gentle on yourself and take as along as you need to to grieve. I know you have two other children, as do I, but I also know that they do not take the place of the one that has gone. Please know that you are not alone in your grief.

I hope for peace and comfort you as you begin this difficult journey.

Much love,
Michaela

brit18 · 06-16-2005, 08:11 PM

I am sorry for what has happened. I have known so many people who have gone through this and it is a horrible thing. You're not alone. Try to stay strong for your kids and i hope for the best for you.

Noel's girl · 06-18-2005, 11:25 AM

I am truly sorry for your loss, I know your pain as I had a miscarriage 3 months ago. And we also did like you and told everyone because we were so excited to finally have conceived. It was hard for me to talk about when people who did not know I had a mc would ask me how far I was, but it does get easier with time. I still think about it and cry sometimes. Time will help you heal though, when people told me that I thought that they did not know what they were talking about but it is true. You never forget though. My dh and I are just able to start trying again and I am kind of scared but I want to get pg and have a bundle of joy of my own and if I am scared it is not going to happen. I just have to put my fear aside and do what I feel is right. And with time you might feel the same. Good luck to you and we are all here if you need to vent more about anything.