Did you know you're supposed to save it? - Miscarriage & Still Birth Message Board

polarized13 · 06-06-2005, 07:45 AM

Hello ladies,

I just wanted to share something I learned when I called my RE's office to let them know about the miscarriage I had, and to cancel my ultrasound apt. They asked me if I saved the embryo that passed ( I was 6 weeks along) I did stare at it for a long time, and wonder what I should do, but I didn't really think they would want it for anything, I thought of pulling it out of the toilet, and burying it or something. ( I know this is really gross, I'm sorry. ) It looked just like the pictures you see. It was really early this morning, and I think I was in shock, I knew I had miscarried, but I didn't think I would see it laying there like that. I wish I would have saved it so they could run thier tests and try and find out what went wrong.

After so many years of trying to conceive, I can't imagine starting the whole process over again. I think I will be so totally nervous and scared if I do get pregnant again, how do you overcome the fear of another miscarriage after you have gone through one?

Anyway, I guess I'm doing pretty well coping and grieving, I don't feel like I need to cry anymore. I still feel sad, and I'm a little suprised by the reactions I have gotten ( like when I called my ob/gns office to cancel my first prenatal visit ) they acted like it was nothing, didn't even say they were sorry. Just ignored the whole thing. It's strange, isn't it?

Ok, I just wanted to pass that along for anyone else who might wonder what to do with the tiny embryo/fetus that passes...

thanks to all of you who have offered your condolances, bless you.

~~heather~~

EMH · 06-06-2005, 08:11 AM

Heather,
I am so sorry for your loss. I knew/know you can save everything for testing, but like you I think I was in a state of shock the first time I miscarried. This is s difficult thing to go through. Many women are surprised by their own reactions and many have no idea what to do.
Thank you for sharing the very practical advice...even for a time such as this.
Thinking of you,
Michaela

Cupcake3 · 06-06-2005, 11:52 AM

Hello Heather,

I am sorry for your loss. Even at six weeks you are starting to get excited.
You are holding up very strong and brave....

I guess everyone has a different reaction to the news. I could not believe it when I saw nothing on the ultrasound but a big empty sack and definitely no heart beat.

You will be fine. take care and find comfort in time for healing and try again.

take care
Cupcake..

Jordyn · 06-06-2005, 04:07 PM

Hi Heather!
I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had my first one a few weeks ago although I am still not totally sure that's what went on. When I called my Dr. they didn't say anything about saving anything..granted I was only 3.5 weeks along so there wasn't anything really to save but I was surprised they didn't say to even keep a record of what I did pass.
I had an ultrasound last week but they didn't let me see any of the pictures nor did the tech tell me anything. I am just hoping that means there is nothing to tell.
I really thought I was doing o.k. and like you I was sad but grieving well...at first. Then last weekend we went to a church retreat and my son was a grumpy little bear, I was tired and there was a new mom there with a tiny baby and I spent the better part of Sat. disappearing for crying bouts. I had really thought I was o.k. with the miscarriage and must have come off to many people like a cold fish. Now I realize that I was attached to that tiny life or atleast the hopes and dreams I had attached to it and suddenly I realized that I had lost out.
After that day I have been great again...no sad moments at all which is strange.
Anyone else have similar experiences, especially after an early miscarriage?

DannyLea · 06-06-2005, 04:49 PM

I had a hard time with my miscarriage to. I did not even know was pregnant and was not trying I was just starting my birthcontrol and it was only my 2nd time having sex. So it came as a huge shock. Even though I did not want to be pregnant it still hurt really bad and it took a long time to convince myself that it was not my fault. I was lucky to have a very understanding boyfriend and it even hit him hard to. It does get better though it has been about 3.5 months and I am doing alot better although I do think about it some times and my boyfriend and I still talk about it and that helps.